A world of our own
by Ihadtochangemypenname
Summary: Every night they meet each other in their dreams. But what is the secret Kuroko is keeping? And will they ever meet each other in reality? AkaKuro. AU.
1. I meet him

**World Of Our Own**

**Summary: **_Every night they meet each other in their dreams. AkaKuro. AU._

**Warnings: **_I don't know what to say... Prepare for a shock and please don't hate me. It's multichapter._

**Disclaimer: **_No ownie._

Akashi sighed, as he sat down on his bed, tired after a long enough day. He was tired of interacting with fools who didn't even realize their speech hurt his ears, their idiocy made his head ache, and over all he had a hard time keeping in control of himself.

He heard his phone vibrate receiving a call – he always had it on vibrate, to not have to bother picking out a suitable ringtone, or mute it in the cinema – from one of the above mentioned fools.

_Kise Ryouta_

The caller ID read the name of the exceptionally annoying blonde from his school, the one who added useless –chiis to the ends of people's names, and clung to some like glue.

Akashi considered ignoring the call – it was his usual course of action in these cases – but on a sudden thought he answered.

"What do you want?"

"Akashicchii… I was just wondering if you could tell me what we had for homework…"

"If you don't know yourself, then you deserve your fate. Do not bother me anymore, Ryouta"

He ended the call abruptly, wondering what had possessed him to even take it in the first place. Some strange whim? But that wasn't anything that could happen to _him_, he had probably decided to be polite. Yes, of course that was what someone of his level would have done.

* * *

It was nearly 9 PM now. Exhaustion was obvious in his mind, not so much in his demeanor.

"Yes, father, I will see to it"

"Good, now Seijuro, go get some rest"

Akashi Seijuro nodded, not bothering to question his father on how he had noticed that he needed the sleep. He headed for his room without a word, or a meal for that matter. Almost immediately when arriving, he slumped down on the bed, not using such terms of course. He groaned and pushed himself up again, realizing he had to change. He couldn't really sleep in his school uniform, that he hadn't had the time to trade for a suit, or perhaps something more comfortable before dinner and the discussion with his father.

He changed calmly and refined despite his urge to just ignore it all, not care. That he ever had such thoughts he would deny if anyone ever asked, himself included. He opened his bed, that he had made first thing in the morning, and climbed into it, resting his head on the orange – yes _orange_, he did not like it either, it argued with his hair color loudly – pillow, and lifted the covers upon himself. He curled up on the side, surprisingly being one of those people who can't sleep on their backs, closed his eyes, and not ten minutes had passed before he was in a deep sleep.

* * *

Kuroko Tetsuya, walked up the stairs, his bag hung on his shoulder, weighing a bit uncomfortably, maybe leaving a slight mark. He knocked on the door - stupid maybe, since it was his own room - and entered. He threw his bag away and winced hoping nothing had broke when it landed on the floor, next to the chair he had aimed at.

The time was so late that he told his mother to forget about making dinner to him, and he would grab something if he felt hungry. He did not want to bother her.

Suddenly, he felt the need to lie down for a moment, not sure if it was exhaustion or some kind of sickness that had come over him. It wasn't too unusual for him to faint after a long day of practice, and today had been one. No one knew about this, though.

Unable to move, he felt his consciousness slipping away, and he entered the sweet world of his dreams.

* * *

Akashi opened his eyes, finding himself not being home, but in a space, as white as nothing he had ever seen. It wasn't bright...How strange...He understood that it must be a dream, since there was no way a place like this would exist in reality. His vision reached its limit before the whiteness, and the was absolutely nothing he could see. Or was this some kind of blindness?

Wait...He could hear something...? What was it..? He squinted, trying to notice anything that possibly could be seen there. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw something - no someone - standing there, right behind him. He refined from gasping, as it wouldn't have fit him - he who was absolute, and could never be startled.

"Who are you? How long have you been there?"

* * *

Kuroko knew where he was, he had expected it. It was in his own world as usual, when he passed out. It had been all white in the beginning, then, night for night - or day for that matter - he had formed it to become _his. _

But now it was the same again, all of his effort wasted. He would have to begin again, building his escape from reality from scratch.

Now...what? There was suddenly someone standing in middle of all the white? Kuroko walked towards the person (?) and waited for them to notice him. He kept staring blankly at the back, wondering who it was, invading his own private world. It wasn't like he hadn't missed some company sometimes, but he had no idea who this stranger was or why they were here. Maybe it had been they who had ruined it all?

"I am Kuroko Tetsuya. For a while. Who may_ you _be? And what are you doing here?"

"Akashi. Seijuro Akashi. I have my reasons."

Akashi wouldn't admit that he wasn't in control of the situation, he always was.

"I see."

Kuroko didn't know what to think of this red-haired stranger, he seemed awfully rude, though.

The conversation pretty much ended there, neither really having anything to say - that they actually would say - just staring and observing each other.

_Kuroko Tetsuya, huh?_ That was what he had called himself, he had powder-blue hair, and matching eyes, that were quite large and unmoving. As was his expression, his face stayed the same throughout the whole thing, and even when he spoke, his voice didn't reveal any possible emotions. He was maybe a few centimeters shorter that Akashi himself, which made him slightly happy, he was always the shortest, and he hated it. Not that his authority didn't make up for it, but...

"Where are we even?"

"This is my dream"

"So I'm not awake. Well, then I should expect that this is actually _my _dream"

"No, Akashi-kun, I am pretty sure it's mine"

Akashi smiled a fake smile, twitching a bit in annoyance, he was always right, and now this little boy dared say that he was wrong.

"I never said it's not yours too, Akashi-kun"

Oh? So this Tetsuya person was quite smart, and observing?

"So you're trying to say we're having the same dream, about that a place that is entirely white?"

Kuroko nodded.

"Yes...Except for that this place is only white now."

"What do you mean?"

"It used to be my dream world. For months. This world can be anything we build it to be, it is a dream after all"

Akashi hid his confusion, about Tetsuya saying that he had been having this dream for months. And what...?

"What do you mean anything we build it to be?"

"I mean exactly what I said, we can form it to be anything"

Well, Kuroko hoped that Akashi wouldn't be there anymore next night, maybe his world would return then.

"I see..."

Akashi was intrigued by this.

"You can get away by going to sleep, so I suggest you do that"

Akashi's smile widened dangerously. Wasn't this just a kinder way of saying 'get lost'? Still, for no apparent reason, which was acceptable only because it was a dream, he actually nodded at Tetsuya and closed his eyes.

* * *

When he opened them again, he saw the familiar ceiling of his own bedroom, and heard the sound of the alarm clock on his nightstand telling him to get up.

_What was that dream even?_

* * *

Kuroko let out a relieved sigh when Akashi disappeared from before him, and he was left alone again.

But only for a lucky minute, because then, unexpectedly the place started spinning around him - he couldn't see it, mind you, but feel it - and he jolted up on his own bed, still covered because he hadn't had any time to make it before losing consciousness.

He checked the time and it was barely after midnight. He usually didn't wake up like that, not that early, without his consent.

_What happened? Why did it go away?_

* * *

_Hello! I'm sorry. An ending idea popped up in my head here one day, and I decided to write something about it. This is chapter 1 and I only know the ending to this. Whoops, I only now remember that this might be loosely based on an idea me and my friend had at a sleepover a few years ago xD Well, thanks for reading all the way here, please review and tell me how to improve, I know I've got to. Oh and the time in that thing has no logic, don't bother.  
_

_EDIT: Going through chapters for mistakes!_


	2. We want to get rid of each other

**_What  
_**

The dream of last night, didn't leave Akashi's mind for the whole day, he didn't let it interfere with his actions during anything, but the thoughts were more of an annoying presence at the back of his subconscious.

He did everything as a routine, which most of it was. School? Simple. Practice? All as usual. At home? No difference

It was just a dream, and it wouldn't occur again, he told himself time after time, but still, when he was laying in his bed trying to catch some sleep, he didn't find it nearly as easy as usually. When he finally managed to drift off, he found himself surrounded by whiteness again.

* * *

Kuroko stayed at home the following day, his parents worried about his condition half-forcing him to do so. Even when he fell asleep he couldn't go back there though. He just slept, normal, dreamless sleep, which actually might have been good for him. Considering the mental rest was usually quite small in amount if he spent his nights in a dreamworld building it up, that was.

He woke up around seven and spent the evening reading - that was one of his favorite ways to pass time. The book he was currently reading wasn't really his taste, but it was a present, and besides, he had to finish what he started.

Around eleven he fell asleep once more and was back to the world of his dreams. Reset.

* * *

"Akashi-kun, you're here again"

Kuroko stated the obvious as he looked emotionlessly at Akashi in front of him. He was disappointed, to be honest.

"Yes, I am, does that bother you Tetsuya?"

"Yes, it does, Akashi-kun"

Blunt. A very descriptive word, when talking of Kuroko, straight-forward. That would be considered rude, yes.

Akashi had to act maturely, but irritation was getting the best of him.

"Well, too bad, because I am not planning to leave yet"

He had the most threatening and 'nice' smile you could imagine. Akashi's genuine smile was nothing seen by normal people. Pretty much no one. To all who knew him, when Akashi did smile, it meant death. Murder. And no one would ever find out who did it. Akashi would be a very talented criminal, now that you think about it, even if some person would find out, they would either die, or be silenced by other means. But could he kill someone in a dream?

Kuroko was of course annoyed at the reply, but his expression didn't change too much. Was it wrong to want to be alone and not have some stupid redhead with a superiority-complex invade your dreams?

"Too bad, yes. Neither am I"

A staring contest ensued.

After an agonizing amount of time Kuroko broke the contact and sat down, with a quiet sigh. Akashi remained standing and looked down at him, in both meanings of the word. He usually only did the mentioned thing only in one of them, due to being short. Or no, scratch that, everyone being tall.

"Then?"

Kuroko turned his head upwards only slightly surprised, and glanced at Akashi's face, seeing nothing he could use there, nothing he could read and act accordingly to.

"I don't know...Do you think this will continue?"

By this he meant them both meeting each other in the dreams of the night.

Akashi thought about this for a while.

"Yes, I do"

Kuroko made a noise, that really didn't make any particular sense, it just was there, hanging around in the empty silence for a moment. A bit longer.

"Then we should make this world ours"

_What he really wanted was to make it his. But now Akashi was there..._

What? What did the guy just say? That was strange? Akashi was oddly confused by the words, but just made his expression similar too Kuroko's in blankness and asked:

"And what exactly do you mean by that, Tetsuya?"

His excessive use of Kuroko's first name pissed him off too, he never said anything anyway, being polite, and simply not bothering.

"This world is something you make, by wishing, and creating inside your head. I mean, if we're going to be stuck here together, we might as well make it a bit more comfortable"

"Oh"

Akashi was short of words. That was something that never happened, but this Tetsuya didn't know it yet. It could be seen in the way he openly talked to him, without fear, in fact, in a challenging way.

"But not tonight, I think I'm going to leave now."

Akashi nodded, and stood there watching Kuroko as he closed his eyes. He looked so relaxed...

Then he was gone.

And not three seconds later so was everything around him. Or rather it had changed to his own room again.

* * *

The next night, it wasn't so much of a surprise that Akashi woke up - or didn't he was still asleep, but found his mind - in the place. The more of a strange thing, was that it wasn't entirely white anymore.

The whole place looked so much more real now, with nature, it could really exist. But the sky was not blue. Neither was it white, it was really indescribable, since the place was similar to those in existence, those that could be real somewhere else, still there were things that were so different and had the supernatural feeling about them.

It felt like everything could be just an illusion.

He walked around a bit, among trees, up hills and past lakes. There seemed to be no boundary to the place, it went on and on, further than he could see or go. Now the chance that he'd even meet Kuroko was so much smaller.

* * *

But Kuroko was there, had been for a while. It was of course him, and no one else who had made the place like it was.

He had followed Akashi all along, without him noticing of course, he had been quiet, but not exceptionally. It was his lack of presence that did it. Now he thought to notify the other of his presence.

"Akashi-kun..."

Akashi nearly jumped, mind you, nearly. He turned around slowly, looking perfectly collected and calm.

"Tetsuya. How long have you been there?"

"A while. From the beginning"

"May I ask you, _why_?"

"I just can't seem to stay away from you"

Who was this Tetsuya, to be able to say something like that with a straight face? What did he even mean by it? Akashi smiled and raised an eyebrow, saying out loud the question. The latter one - the one about what he meant.

"You are very interesting, Akashi-kun, besides, I really can't go too far away from you, without the whole world disappearing"

That sure sounded dramatic. But he meant it literally.

"...I see."

"But now that I think about it, isn't there anything you really want to exist here?"

Did Akashi want anything to be there? Of course there were things he wanted, that he couldn't get in his real life...

But he would do something instead, something that would give him more freedom, to do things, without witnesses. Things he would be ashamed of if they were ever to be heard or seen by anyone.

"How?"

He of course expected Kuroko to know exactly what his question was about, and was not disappointed.

"Imagine it"

Easy for him to say. Still, the word impossible did not exist in his dictionary. Or rather it just simply couldn't happen.

So he imagined.

A moment of silence.

"You're still here"

"You just want me to not be here?"

"Yes"

"That's pretty insulting you know?"

"You don't look insulted, Tetsuya"

"I never do, Akashi-kun, doesn't mean I'm not"

"Are you then?"

"Of course"

Another awkward silence.

"Even so, Akashi-kun, it would be impossible"

"Nothing is. But why?"

"It seems that we cannot be here alone. When you leave I have to, and the same goes the other way"

"Very Well then. This place is endless, can't you please move away from _me_"

"I told you, it won't work, anyway, I crave company"

"Aren't you spoiled"

"In fact I'm not"

"Hm..."

Once again, only natural noises, such as wind or waves could be heard. There must be a sea somewhere...or a lake, Akashi absentmindedly thought.

"Tell me about yourself, Akashi-kun. I only know your name"

"Huh?"

"Tell me. About you?"

"What is there to tell?"

"Your life? Favorite color, age? School? Status? Everything."

"Why don't you tell"

"No fair, Akashi-kun, I asked you first."

"Fine..."

How many more silences would they have to endure?

"My name Is Akashi Seijuro, As you already know, I'm a first-year in high school, Rakuzan, In Kyoto, to be exact. 16 years old, I enjoy playing shogi. My life is that of someone who wins, cannot lose, and is therefore always right, for the winners are the ones who dictate the rules, and write the history. My favorite colors are red, and perhaps black, if that is to be counted as a color, My family is the kind of family, that I would think even someone such as you would have heard of. You shouldn't defy me. And...I believe I am taller than you. Red is my natural hair-color also."

A blank stare was directed at him, after this presentation of himself and his life philosophy. Kuroko didn't ask for that though. Shouldn't defy him? Didn't Akashi realize that saying something like that only awoke more of a rebellious attitude in people. Or Kuroko at least.

"Really? I live in Tokyo, and go to Seirin high school. Of course I've heard about the Akashi's. I do not get the image of you that you'd actually be interested in anything of mine, so I'll just ask you one question. What is it that you win in? And about your height, I don't care. Well, then, I'll go, bye"

And then he left, leaving Akashi to stare at the empty space in front of him, still wondering who that guy even was. The question was rhetorical, the one of his winning...otherwise Kuroko wouldn't have left just yet, right?

Akashi stared into his white ceiling again, still wondering.

He couldn't sleep for the rest of the night

_Ugh, OOC warning people...I don't really know, the chapters are short, and I still have no idea what's supposed to happen in between now and the ending. Well...I realized that I've also taken inspiration from a book series, and wow, I'm really influenced. Anyway, I wouldn't mind you reviewing O_o Thanks for reading this far. Oh and to my friend who probably won't read this, if you recognize the word - whiteworld, you have now found out my ff user and I am ready to leave, bye.  
_


	3. As time passes

**_As time passes  
_**

"Hello, Akashi-kun"

"Tetsuya" His existence was acknowledged, Akashi not even being startled anymore by the sudden, but actually awaited appearance of the other.

"What a surprise seeing you here"

"Is that sarcasm I sense?"

"Yes, it is." The blunt and monotonous reply came.

Akashi had to actually restrain himself to not let his lips curve the slightest bit upwards. That was a first.

* * *

"You said you liked the color red? Isn't that a bit narcissistic?"

"Do you really think so?"

Silence ensued.

The truth was Akashi knew well that people often naturally liked the colors and such that fit them well, and red was kind of his trademark by now.

Still no reply from Kuroko.

"Are you saying that you don't like the light blue color of your hair?"

"Yes, actually I like red more too"

* * *

"What are you doing, Akashi-kun?"

"Hm?"

Akashi had quite subconsciously moved in closer to the powder-blue spot in the green forest, that was Kuroko's hair, and now his had had somehow ended up lightly feeling it. He couldn't believe it was so soft. His fingers ran through the hair, and Kuroko closed his eyes.

"Akashi-kun…"

The tone was unreadable again, so Akashi couldn't be sure if it was supposed to be exasperated or something else. In any case, he suddenly came to realize what he actually was doing, and with this new information he retracted his hand, at an acceptably but not suspiciously quick speed.

"Please excuse me"

* * *

"I'm just returning the favor"

Kuroko said this, while he edged up right next to the redhead and kind of awkwardly patted his head.

Normally Akashi would have felt furious, being looked down on, or rather being higher than him, _patting his head, _what was that even supposed to be? But perhaps because in the end it was all a dream, and it didn't exactly matter, he let it slip. He just simply said:

"Tetsuya, please refrain from doing that"

The said Tetsuya just continued and stared at him with that blank look, which in this moment probably meant something like 'You can't tell me what to do, Akashi-kun'

That was one more thing that Akashi found fascinating about Tetsuya

* * *

"Do you hate me?"

The question was unexpected, to say the least, but it broke the heavy and almost uncomfortable silence around them.

"Why would you ask that?"

"I didn't get an answer, do you?"

Akashi pondered for a bit…Did he? The one who asked, was indeed infuriating at times, his attitude being one-of-a-kind, a little defiant. He was also polite at all times, and he was extremely difficult to read. But it had been almost a month already… And well…

"Akashi-kun…?"

"Huh?"

"You just looked…troubled…"

"Oh, there is nothing wrong with me, Tetsuya"

"I see, that is great."

Kuroko hummed quietly to himself, leaning his head on his knees, and closing his eyes. Then he blinked a few times.

"I should go"

"As well as me, until next time then"

"Yes, until next time"

* * *

"Why are Akashi-kun's eyes like that?"

He was referring to the heterochromatic state of them, one being a gold-ish-yellow and the other being as red as blood. He wondered if it was natural…They weren't the most normal eye-colors, and both of them at the same time was a little difficult to believe. Were they contacts? Why? To make people afraid of him? It was simply confusing to Kuroko.

"They weren't always…"

That was all the answer he got.

* * *

"I don't"

Kuroko looked up, his eyes, wide, but not more than normally so.

"Excuse me?"

"Hate you. I don't hate you."

Seriously? It had been a week.

"Oh. I'm glad to hear that. I don't hate you either"

Akashi would have snorted, laughed at that, in resentment, but he didn't. For even if in real life no one would ever dare admit anything opposite to that what Tetsuya had said, it still meant something to him.

* * *

Kuroko smiled slightly at the statement.

"Akashi-kun is very childish, you know`"

Akashi's back straightened, and he blinked surprised, looking unusually innocent. But he wasn't surprised by what Kuroko said, no he wasn't even mad for being called something as vulgar as 'childish', but he was startled by the smile. Had he seen Kuroko smile before? That genuinely? He didn't think so. The usual face was very blank, and an occasional annoyed expression could be seen…but a smile like that…? It looked beautiful. He shook his head inwardly and smirked, trying to regain his intimidating status.

"What would make you say that?"

He asked in a bit of a teasing tone.

"Isn't it just that Akashi-kun hates losing"

"No. It is that such a concept is not possible for me. Winning is like breathing. Any other outcome is both impossible and unacceptable"

"I know, you've told me. But isn't that just one and the same. For example how would you react if you lost?"

"I said, it can't happen"

"This is a 'what if' situation, theoretical, it must not be impossible for you to imagine such a thing?"

"Nothing is."

"Well then. What would happen?"

* * *

"Akashi-kun, let's have a contest"

"Huh, what do you mean?"

Kuroko looked at him as if he was stupid, which shouldn't be acceptable.

"Contest. Let's compete. Race"

"In what"¨

"Anything. Your choice"

"You should know you don't have a chance of winning then"

"I never know. Besides, that isn't the point"

"…I'll come up with something before tomorrow."

"Good"

* * *

"It's your victory, Akashi-kun"

"What else could be expected? But I must say, you have low stamina…I am slightly concerned"

Kuroko was quietly panting, and leaning his hands on his knee and a tree. It will be kept a secret what the contest ended up being, but someone might guess.

"There is always a chance, Akashi-kun. And I know about my condition, there is nothing to be done about it. I was born this way, weak"

After a moment after catching his breath properly, he added.

"I'm flattered you would be concerned, I do not consider myself worthy of it, but there is no reason to be, I am perfectly fine"

"Well, good then..."

"I'll beat you someday!"

"We'll see about that..."

* * *

"How long has this been going already...?"

"Two months I believe"

"Hmm..."

"How would you say this is?

"I...I don't really know...frankly I don't know what this is"

"You're admitting you don't know...wow, that shows us just how far we've come."

He sighed deeply at this, still kind of amused, seeing it was maybe a bit accurate.

* * *

"Akashi-kun. I'll make you smile one day"

"What do you mean, Tetsuya? I smile. I'll smile right now if you'd like"

"No..." He shook his head in exasperation and sighed "I mean _really_ smile...not that intimidating and very threatening one you're doing right now. It makes me uncomfortable, please stop"

Akashi internally pouted, if that is possible, more so for an Akashi.

"I want to see you try"

The expression on his face was too full of himself, too self-confident, it really pissed Kuroko off.

"I wont lose in this, _Akashi-kun_"

* * *

"Tetsuya"

But Tetsuya wasn't there. It was actually strange...They had come to the conclusion - with some time - that they couldn't be there alone, the second one left, the world just evaporated. That was how it had been, until now...You might think it would be pretty understandable, to not find someone in a _whole world_. But, it could sound weird, he could somehow feel it, sense the other's presence, even if he barely had any. This didn't stop him from occasionally being startled by the light-blue haired male, it was more of a general sense. He would know if Tetsuya was there, and now he knew he wasn't.

There was clearly something missing, in the essence of the place, as if Tetsuya was a part of the nature. Which he maybe was. After all he was the "creator" of this place, in a was as someone would say a "god" Kuroko himself would have denied any of those words straight out.

Akashi didn't really know what to do now. Somehow...if possible...for the first time in so long he felt...lonely.

"...Tetsuya..."

* * *

The next day Kuroko appeared there as if nothing had happened. He sat there in a tree (how he managed to get up there is a question that shan't get an answer) and waited for Akashi. He had his eyes closed and it was almost as if he was crying. But when he noticed Akashi and looked up, no trace of tears could be seen.

"Ah, hello Akashi-kun"

"...Tetsuya" He looked up "Where were you yesterday?"

He looked a bit unsettled, and avoided eye contact. After an awkward moment he opened his mouth a bit "Oh...that...I just couldn't sleep"

Akashi frowned suspiciously, but decided against questioning him further, accepting the explanation"

But then Kuroko descended from the tree and smiled a bit playfully.

"...Did you miss me?"

"Tsk...no, I was simply concerned as one would be if a friend missed an appointment without informing me of the reason"

Kuroko stared at him blankly, still smiling slightly

"Akashi-kun, I am am not in any way obligated to come here for your sake you know?" Then his eyes widened cutely, a bit unnaturally. "You consider me your friend?"

Akashi looked at him in that very Akashi-like way that made him feel incompetent. "Well, what else would we be? What do you consider us?"

"I...I haven't really thought about it...we're kind of trapped here together every night, so I thought you saw me mostly as a nuisance"

"No!- I mean, of course not Tetsuya, you shouldn't think so lowly of yourself" _and me for that matter_

"Oh, well I'm glad to hear that" He smiled sweetly again.

Akashi did too, but only internally. It was nice how in these months he had been able to see so many of Kuroko's expressions, that he actually hoped no one else saw. But that was selfish of him. He had seen how the other had slowly grown more comfortable around him - of course also he had done the same with Tetsuya - and show more of himself. They hadn't known each other for that a long time, but he still saw them as somewhat close. And he hoped Kuroko did too.

"Oh, but Akashi-kun, wouldn't it be about time to wake up"

"You're right, Tetsuya. I shall be taking my leave then"

"Alright. Until next time"

"Yes"

Kuroko watched sadly as the redhead disappeared from i front of his eyes.

* * *

Akashi woke up in his room, to the sound of his phone vibrating - having memorized all the different vibration patters he knew - it wasn't his alarm, but the sound of someone calling him.

It was not anyone he had as a contact and a secret number, so he couldn't even track it.

Still, he picked up without a second thought. He really had changed.

"Hello, Akashi Seijuro here"

No reply came. Only a sigh.

"Hello?"

No nothing.

"Well, if you aren't going to say anything I'll hang up"

After a moment's wait he did.

Well, that was weird.

* * *

He actually tried calling the number back once a day later, since it had bothered him greatly, but it said that the number didn't exist. Only one text arrived, and it said simply "sorry"

It would have been in a way creepy, but Akashi handled it all calmly and as it was of no importance, that was what was proper for someone like him to do.

His life went on as it would, but even his school and clubmates started noticing that he had turned more understanding. He now told Ryouta the homwork when he called, and hadn't even more than doubled anyone's training menu for weeks. He occasionally didn't seem threatening, and sometimes even faintly nice. For Akashi, that was.

Some were even concerned, but he really hadn't noticed any change himself. And why would he change anyway? What could cause that? Nothing he could think of.

* * *

When Akashi arrived in the dreamworld nowadays, Kuroko was always there first, waiting for him, wherever seemed convenient.

They spent their days talking, walking, practicing stuff. Quite often a kind of discussion-turned-full-on-debate would occur too. Their views on the world were very different, for reasons like how they had been raised and otherwise own personality traits. But in the end they somehow came to a conclusion, usually that, that neither of them would give up since one thing they had in common was their stubbornness, and they would settle on disagreeing on the matter.

They learned to know each other better, actually now that Akashi thought about it, Kuroko just might be the person that knew him the best, who he confided to in things that he couldn't tell anyone else. That might be because of the fact that it all seemed so surreal, and separated from everything else. What he did in his dreams wouldn't have serious consequences so he could do more without fear.

Kuroko told him about himself, yes, but still the boy was an enigma. He didn't reveal too much about his life anymore, and had never for example told Akashi about his day.

Always when Akashi left Kuroko still waited there and probably disappeared together with the world.

* * *

_ Okay I really wanted to write a really long and cool chapter but it seems I am incapable of doing so. I'm sorry for the wait - a writers block or something, and I'm not that used to it. _

_I just wanted time to pass and them getting closer and developing a relationship of some kind and stuff. I have also started revealing hints about the ending now. I would be amazed and impressed and happy if anyone guessed. But you probably won't, yet. This fanfic won't be too long I think, it's only my first multi-chapter andwell yeah.  
_

_Reviews are much appreciated._


	4. Crying

**Crying**

Akashi remembered how Kuroko had promised to make him smile. It had made him happy hearing that, but in the end it was again something he wouldn't give up easily on. But Kuroko's mere presence nowadays, kind of contented him, and made him want to smile, even as a greeting, which was something so ridiculous he couldn't believe himself.

The point was, that the fact that Kuroko had said he wanted him to smile, was the reason why he wouldn't even if he wanted to. Because, he could simply _not lose._

Then another time, Kuroko promised him another thing.

"Akashi-kun, one day I will see you cry"

* * *

What Kuroko said would come true. Many more times than he ever expected or wished for. Since it had only been a challenge, a way to see the other being more human, he didn't enjoy watching the other cry. Rather the opposite, it hurt a bit.

But it wasn't immediately and the first time wasn't even because of him.

It was when Akashi broke. But the only who ever found out was Kuroko.

A time when he arrived, Akashi seemed so much colder than usual. He was worse, almost, than the first time they met.

"Akashi-kun!"

He had unknowingly acted as usual, happily at seeing the other.

"...Tetsuya"

His voice was emotionless, had it been anyone but Kuroko it would probably had sounded more contemptuous, but now it happened to be him so he still had the little left in his heart to only be indifferent.

As Kuroko was quick to read the atmosphere, he calmed down and became entirely different.

"...Akashi-kun, is there something that is bothering you?"

"No. Everything is perfectly normal"

"You're not being honest, are you?"

"What would make you doubt that?"

"I know you aren't. It is fairly obvious"

"So you say"

An all too familiar, already nearly forgotten awkward silence ensued. It was the first time in weeks.

"Come on Akashi-kun"

It was broken by the voice, as quiet as a whisper but still clearly audible in the lack of other noise.

"What?" Akashi snapped back, slightly annoyed. Why was he here anyway? Oh, yeah right he had no choice!

...And maybe, just maybe it was the only escape from reality he had.

His reality...It was fairly cruel and controlled. His obligations in the family required him to be perfect. Nothing less was ever expected or accepted, for that matter. He was used to it...but recently...it had become too much, not that he would ever admit it. He couldn't really. What would even happen to him if he did such a thing? Nothing good that was for sure. Everything would be taken from him, even the last bits of hope and activities suitable for normal people his age.

But he could afford to act somehow strangely around Kuroko, since this was something that couldn't be stolen from him in any other for that depriving him of sleep, which, even his father should understand, would affect his performance. And that they couldn't have.

So he didn't have to be afraid of losing this little last escape he had.

"...Akashi-kun...?"

"Oh, sorry, I was lost in thought"

Akashi apologized. Kuroko's lips corners turned in the least bit upwards.

"I see. Please tell me if you have anything on your mind"

Akashi curtly nodded, and sat down in a very unlike him lazy and unrefined way. He just slouched down and leaned his back on a tree and his head on his elbows, that in their turns were on his knees. He sighed deeply, and closed his eyes, in a near frown, more of a exhausted and a tad bit frustrated expression.

Kuroko stood there next to him, looking at Akashi from upwards. The other hated this, usually. He wondered what had gotten in to the redhead. Speaking of his red hair, it looked very appealing and soft from this point of view. Kuroko restrained himself from doing anything, knowing that the best course of action would be to simply wait for a moment. And hope Akashi trusted him enough to confide in him. He could guarantee not telling _anyone._

* * *

So, a few minutes passed. An hour, or two...nearly the whole night. Then finally Akashi gave up. He lifted his head and looked at Kuroko.

"...Listen, it's that..."

He got no further due to shock. He could feel water rolling down his cheek. He licked it up, and tasted the salty flavor. Then there was another drop. No mistaking it, they were tears. But whose tears were they? He slowly reached up his hand to feel his face with two fingers. They were his.

...But...how? When?

He couldn't cry, it wasn't proper, showing weakness like that, and for such trivial matters. That may or may not actually be quite important. Still, it wasn't something he was allowed, expected to do...? How had he let this happen. He sniffed once. He realized it was very bad of him to do so. For others it might be normal while crying, but for Akashi Seijuro who had since a very young age been taught that it was bad to cry, and he hadn't actually committed such an act since early childhood, before the age he even started school.

It was all just so strange...and oddly...right...But no. It was wrong! He couldn't stop.

* * *

Kuroko had first stood there maybe a bit clueless on how to act in this kind of situation. His only friend, Kagami-kun, wasn't the type to break down like this, so he hadn't been faced with it before.

Akashi-kun wasn't the type either, though.

Then he crouched down to Akashi's level.

He had seen movies, and thought that it would be a good thing to do. So he wrapped his arms around Akashi, and hugged him, carefully at first, then as he wasn't immediately pushed away - he wasn't sure if it was just surprise or not - a bit more tightly, moving his hands around awkwardly on the others back. Patting, and rubbing circles and stuff like that. He had read books also.

Akashi was surprised, shocked, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. It was kind of comforting, and sweet.

* * *

The tears ceased with time. Akashi stood up,and in the process also discarded Kuroko's arms from around him. He looked away.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to"

"No...That's not it...Thank you. But...Could you please forget this...?"

"No. I could never forget"

"I see. Well, if you ever mention it to anyone, there are going to be consequences"

Akashi had something of his old self back, and Kuroko knew he wasn't entirely serious.

"Oh? I am not particularly worried" _As if I'd tell anyone_.

What Akashi did next, was threateningly close to a real genuine smile. He managed to suppress it though.

"Farewell, Tetsuya"

"Goodbye, Akashi-kun. Please don't be so dramatic. And...Do your best!"

"I will, thank you"

* * *

Kuroko was left wondering when had caused Akashi's former state. He guessed it was pressure or something. It had been worse than he thought, to actually see the other cry, and he had decided he wouldn't claim victory on his little challenge. Not for something like this. It would have felt wrong, he might even give up on the whole idea of making Akashi cry.

He still remembered the feeling. The warmth that radiated from Akashi despite his quite often cold demeanor. He was very warm.

Now it was kind of worrying Kuroko. What if Akashi was sick? He could have over-worked himself, and that could cause the high temperature... Well, he would find out soon enough.

He was just left there thinking about stuff, not really having anything to do that day.

What he didn't know was that the next time Akashi cried it would be because of him.

* * *

The next day, Akashi was, as Kuroko had thought, actually a bit sick. A simple fever from over-exhaustion, but this did that he fell asleep in the middle of the day. He hadn't expected to find himself in the place, since he knew Kuroko also had to be there at that particular time. But he was there it seemed.

He was there right in front of Akashi, in fact, and looked up looking surprised and slightly panicked.

"Tetsuya?"

Akashi questioned, not even having to form the words, Kuroko understanding immediately.

"Oh, I just...took a nap"

Akashi eyed him suspiciously, but then decided to stop, due to feeling slightly dizzy. It was the effects of the sickness he had in reality, he should think.

"Are you okay!?"

Kuroko had stood up and grabbed his shoulder. Of course he didn't know about his "condition" or whatever. Of course he'd be worried. Or actually, no, very few really worried about Akashi. Either they thought that he'd be fine, it's not like anything even _could _happen to him. The other part thought that it didn't matter, or alternatively that he deserved it. SO in the end Tetsuya's worry meant quite a lot to Akashi.

"Yes...I just appear to be a bit tired"

Kuroko frowned.

"You shouldn't be tired though. Since you technically are asleep right now. May I ask you about the reason for that by the way?"

"I guess. I am not really in my best health so I am resting right now. Is your reason something alike to that?"

"I am not sick" The reply came quickly. Then an instant later in a more calm manner "I hope you will be well soon Akashi-kun, you must have over-worked yourself"

Akashi didn't reply even if he knew it was true, he couldn't be expected to say something like that. Agree on being incapable to reach expectations, mere physically. Forgetting about the mental breakdown the night before. He took some deep breaths.

"...You should sit down..."

Akashi realized he had been pretty much just standing there having somehow ended up leaning on Kuroko, with most of his weight.

"Yes. You're right"

He started slowly doing the said action, supported by Kuroko. Then he finally was sitting down. It seemed that the condition transferred from reality to this place too. His face was very hot and he couldn't keep his eyes open. But he also couldn't leave. He wasn't in his room like he would usually be when losing consciousness or something of the kind.

He would have been confused on why, but his mind did not work clearly. Kuroko's did. And he worried.

* * *

In the end it had all turned out okay. Akashi had woken up in his bed after hours in the other world, where he had switched between being aware and not. Kuroko had let him rest his head on his lap, but that had not felt like such a big thing at the moment. Yes, Kuroko had done his best, produced a bed out of nowhere, and some other not-really-necessities, but still important things.

And Akashi had smiled, even he couldn't remember it himself, and it had probably been because of his fever and while he had been asleep. So it didn't count, Kuroko had decided with a small smile. He hadn't seen Akashi sleep before, "surprisingly" enough. He had looked vulnerable, as people usually did while sleeping. He hadn't looked peaceful. More restless, but he guessed that was something difficult to reach - a state of relaxation - while in that condition.

It had still been pretty sweet. But now he was alone again.

Akashi was also so, if not counting the maid that had popped in giving him a bowl of some strengthening soup. He didn't eat it. It wasn't expected of him, just simply an obligation in taking care of a son. It was of course his father who had sent it. His mother was deceased, which had saddened him greatly. But even then he had not shed a tear.

Now he had. For such an unimportant reason. But had it really happened? Was it real? Was Kuroko real? Or was it really just a dream, conjured up by his exhausted mind? He could deny anything that happened there, and no one would find out. For even if Kuroko was real-which he had started to somehow doubt...because how could there exist a person like him? - even if so, no one would take Kuroko's word over his, and that was a fact.

So he could rest in peace. Of course not die, but well...

_It was merely a dream._

* * *

_Okay here comes me, with an actual update! I'm just happy about receiving reviews! And people having theories...like that's a dreamm come true. I've never really had any successful (in the least) stories, so this is the first time I get over 10 reviews lol, on a not request fic. And I'm happy. SO I updated quickly. DOn't expect the next one to be as quick, I was simply motivated. I'm not sure if this chapter really did anything, and it was kinda ooc, but well, I wanted to have akashi cry. I read on my new favorite akakuro (100 years of loving you, by nymphiase) and that's why. I recommend you read it if you haven't btw. Its frigging perfect. And that's what I aspire to be. I hope it was okay to advertise someone's fic without their permission 0-O; _

_Okay bye and til next time love ya ll and please review._


	5. While you were gone

**While you were gone**

Akashi was known for excelling in anything he did. Anything less than perfect was unacceptable and unthinkable. He was feared by many, due to his power, that he always sneakily managed to gain over others, and therefore it was easy for him to get people to obey him, without actually threatening them with words.

In these months he had spent with the defiant boy, the one who he really had no power over. Not being actually involved in his real life - hell, he barely knew anything about it - and Kuroko's personality added to the equation that made them equal in terms of power. Of course, physically Akashi would definitely win, and probably intellectually as well most of the times...But in some odd way...It still felt as if the other could make him do things he would never otherwise. And he had, for even if he himself didn't notice it, all the people in his surroundings did. He had changed. He could be genuinely kind, he could be considerate and do favors without dark purposes behind them, he could consider some other persons opinion and well-being before making a decision. He was very different, but thought he was the same.

* * *

Then.

There came a time when Akashi was incapable of dreaming. He fell asleep, and woke up and that's all there was to it. No Kuroko. No strange place. No nothing. At least nothing he could remember. So he was gone for almost a week. This did in fact, trouble him greatly, as he was...worried for Kuroko. The other wasn't really being himself lately, and now with Akashi not being able to see him in the night he couldn't help but feel troubled.

He had no idea if this was something permanent or not, thus he hadn't even mentally panicked yet.

The truth was probably that he had become addicted to those nightly meetings, experiences, and if he were to be deprived of them...Or permanently denied...he had no idea what would happen, but had a feeling it would be worse than simply crying.

He was somehow addicted to Kuroko…That sounded wrong, plus it was really something he wasn't supposed to be or do. Emotions were nothing but in his way… They were unneeded…But in the very last they were nothing he could prevent, and it was already too late. He laughed without hope, a laugh of amused desperation.

So, now that he wasn't able to see the other, he was feeling deprived, tired, in the same way as sleep-deprivation worked, his thoughts were a tiny bit slower than usual, his temper was -if possible - even shorter, and less in control than otherwise, and his movements were slightly clumsy.

It would have worried people, but as has been mentioned there weren't many who actually worried about Akashi, so in the end he was suffering in silence. Why was he even _suffering_? Just because he hadn't seen someone for a week? How weak had he really become? But he couldn't bring himself to not care. He cared. Perhaps a bit too much.

* * *

A good three days later, he was so much worse. He got sleep, but never rest. Why had it become like this? Why couldn't he just go on as normal, or actually, as before this whole thing had happened? Had it even happened? He wasn't sure of the borders of him imagination anymore.

Through all this time, not once had he even thought the thought of trying to find Kuroko in reality. Even if he were capable of it, which he might or might not be, it wouldn't have helped. If he found Kuroko, if they talked, it would make it all disappear. Seeing it in reality would make it less real, and more of an unreachable dream. It was difficult to explain, but it wouldn't help at all, more the opposite, so he didn't even consider it.

Not yet.

Someday, he would. Definitely.

* * *

It wasn't as lonely as Kuroko would have expected. It was more like just sleeping for the entire time, he wasn't really conscious about his surroundings or the time that passed, but he wouldn't call the creeping loss of feelings loneliness.

He didn't really even wonder when Akashi would be back.

* * *

He woke up, at a always very precise time, never going down to the level of pressing the button on his phone that might have continued his sleep for another ten minutes. Even if he very seriously considered it this morning. He was so tired...He had stayed up until 4AM working on important things his father had ordered him to finish. He couldn't show any signs of incompetence... But now he was truly wondering if it was worth all of this.

On another note he had had a dream in the few hours of sleep he had gotten. It of course wasn't what he'd wished for...But It gave him a certain amount of hope to be able to even remember parts of what he'd dreamt.

...Not that it really was anything important, if he remembered correctly it had something to do with stairs and boats, and jumping in to floating circles of grey fire. No one could control their dreams? He could have strange ones too as long as no one ever knew, or he let it affect him on a physical level.

Well, anyway, he got up and changed into his school uniform, it being a Wednesday. He made his way to the breakfast table, shoulders slightly hunched. It was a side affect of the exhaustion. He walked past a mirror though, and noticed his bad posture, and immediately straightened his back also being reminded to brush his hair as he saw the state of it. He grimaced inwardly and went to get a brush.

The breakfast was a traditional Japanese-style one, which was his favorite usually. Now he took no notice of the food, only ate it, with a grim look on his face. He excused himself with a curt nod and walked away.

Still, no one could but notice that there was improvement from half a year ago - yes it had already been nearly that much time since this started, he was almost a second-year now... - at that time he wouldn't have done anything. He would have just assumed he was above every other presence in the room, possibly not counting his father. The only thing anyone would miss from that time was the fake smile. Who would have thought that would be something you could miss? Something that felt like a great threat.

Maybe there was actually a part of all the people who somehow had grown fond of the former little arrogant - even if for a reason - brat. So maybe they were the tiniest bit...worried about the boy's current condition.

Akashi had no idea and was under the impression that no one really cared for him, but endured him. In the past it hadn't even bothered him, but now something had awakened inside him - the desire to be loved. It had fallen into a deep slumber after his mother had died, but now it had returned full-force, and it really didn't help his depression.

He went to school. A fancy car took him as always, and the driver didn't bother to inquire him about anything, the same the other way. He sat there quietly, watching the landscape flash by. It was mostly just tall buildings and people anyway. When he was extremely little he had felt carsick, but his father hadn't tolerated any of it, he had somehow forced it out of of him, so now he could read Shakespeare in English while sitting in a moving vehicle without feeling anything. He couldn't deny that it was handy.

He reached the school and got out. First period would be history...He had it together with Atsushi. The pretty-much giant sized person with purple hair and an unhealthy love for snacks. And other bad eating habits. Akashi sighed. He was too tired to deal with people today.

"Aka-chin"

Murasakibara was munching on something as usual when he greeted him. Oh, he was another one of those weirdos who added strange endings to names. But Atsushi was someone he had known for a very long time, ever since elementary school actually, and together with Shintarou was the closest to him. He guessed it wasn't so bad to deal with him most of the days. He slipped a small smile.

"Hello, Atsushi"

The said person stiffened and stared down at Akashi with a horrified expression. Akashi made a confused expression.

"...What?"

"A-Aka-chin smiled..."

"Hm? I did? I guess being tired makes me more expressive?"

Akashi felt nervous on the inside. He hadn't even noticed...What if this happened in front of Kuroko...Oh, wait, no he wouldn't think about that now, he would just try to get through the day properly.

"Okay...if you say so"

A disinterested face returned to the taller male, and he continued eating, whatever it was he was holding at the moment. They started walking towards the class in silence.

* * *

The day passed as any other. He did something dangerous, and very unlike him though - he skipped practice on the excuse that he wasn't fully recovered from his flu - that he had like a month ago, believable, yes he knew, but no one dared question him.

He walked home, he knew the car wouldn't be there for until in a few hours when the practice ended. He was kind enough to text him that he didn't need to be picked up though.

It was strangely refreshing, getting fresh air a bit more, and walking among other people, not his age, and not in his school. He could almost say he felt awake for the first time in a while.

He arrived at home, and luckily enough his father wasn't there so he didn't have to come up with explanations or pathetic excuses anymore. He just went up and actually locked himself in his room.

He went immediately to sleep to recover from his lack of it the few previous nights. He just hoped no one would miss him. Hah, as if.

* * *

"I missed you, Akashi-kun"

"Tetsuya!?"

He opened his eyes and found himself in a familiar place. Why was he back? He wasn't complaining, but what had happened to cause this? Had something changed? Not that he would know of. Still now he was here...And Kuroko right in front of him, looking happy. It had been too long, he really needed this.

That was the moment when he decided to give up.

"I missed you too, Tetsuya" Akashi smiled in the most miniature of ways while saying this, but it was a real, a genuine smile. Kuroko was the first one who honestly brought this out of him.

And Kuroko understood. He smiled back, but didn't ask questions or bask in the glory of his supposed victory. He was just how Akashi had dared hope. Himself. Kuroko wasn't the type to enjoy others losses, and he was very empathetical even if it may not often be seen on the surface. He was a good person, and Akashi was amazed by the fact that he considered him his friend (-okay let's forget about the thing that he had no choice, Akashi wants to feel special, okay?)

Where had that over-confident and selfish mind of his even gone? In the beginning, he thought _Kuroko _was the one who should feel honored to even _know _him.

* * *

That day/night, they didn't talk much. They mostly just sat there, enjoying being together. For even if the time period they had been apart was merely a few weeks, it felt like way longer - especially to Akashi. So for the first time he just spent the day accommodating his face to this new phenomenon called a smile. And he was just so _happy._

Was it normal to feel this happy just being near a person?

He didn't even care right now.

* * *

_"Tetsuya?"_

_Tetsuya looked up from his book._

_"Hm? Yes, Akashi-kun?"_

_His eyes were so wide and innocent.._

_"Can you promise me one thing?"_

_He looked thoughtful._

_"Depends...What would it be?"_

_His voice got even quieter._

_"Promise me...Promise me that you'll never lie to me"_

_Kuroko stiffened and relaxed, almost unnoticeable. His eyes closed and his face turned into a thinking expression. He looked slightly pained. His smile twitched sadly._

_"If-"_

_"Yes"_

_"Huh?"_

_"I will never, ever tell Akashi-kun a lie"_

* * *

_Okay so there! What do you think~Huh? Huh? I don't even know what I wrote, just yeah...__ Thank you for the reviews! You guest whom i can't reply to~ Too~ Every single thing makes me happy! Let's see where this is going, shall we~? I don't know much more than you do. Except for the whole point but yeah.  
_

_Reviews are loved and treasured._


	6. Laughter

**Are you okay?  
**

"You said you missed me when I was gone?"

Akashi asked with a small smile-like expression, looking at Kuroko strangely.

"You said you missed me too"

Kuroko retorted making a happy-looking grimace.

"No, but really, did you?"

Akashi for some reason wanted to feel like he was important...Not because he counted on it - for once - but because he seriously had developed quite the amount of insecurities...

Never would have thought, huh?

It has been mentioned he wanted to feel loved. And that he lived under the impression he wasn't in the least, considering how horrible he had understood he was. Without understanding that he had changed and been partially a bit forgiven. People cared. But he cared more.

Especially much he cared about Kuroko's opinion. He didn't know why, but it felt like if Kuroko hated him it would all just be meaningless. Life. Other things. He was disappointed in himself on some levels. He didn't even recognize himself, in some things. Who was he? Oh, really? Was he having an identity crisis now as well? No, okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But it wasn't the easiest of times for Akashi Seijuro.

And Kuroko, being observant and thoughtful, noticed this, and realized he should be considerate. So he knew exactly what to say.

"Of course I did!"

His smile brightened Akashi's dream up. Well...Why would Akashi think like that anyway. But he smiled too.

"Good"

"Good? Why would it be good? Missing someone isn't a nice experience you know?"

"Yes yes, I know. But you are also aware of what I meant."

"Fine"

Kuroko pouted a bit. Fake, mind you.

* * *

"Finals are coming up, huh? It's the same in Tokyo isn't it"

"...Yes, it is. Are you studying properly, Akashi-kun"

"Of course! Even though, everyone knows it would be unlikely for me to fail in any case"

_Unlikely? _Akashi was truly different.

"...I guess"

"What about you?"

_Concern for my school success? _He showed interesting in other's doings.

"I am not studying"

"...Ha? Excuse me?"

"I was told to never lie. I won't repeat it"

* * *

"So you're a second-year now, aren't you, Akashi-kun?"

"Yes...I am. And you are too? I was under the impression that we were in the same year"

"Of course"

"How is your life going anyway? I am always telling you such a lot nowadays, still I never hear about you"

"I'd just rather not talk about it"

"Why? Is there something wrong!?"

"...Yes"

"Can I do anything?"

"You already are"

"Oh"

The silence meant very clearly that Kuroko really didn't want to discuss his situation in reality, so Akashi honored his wishes by shutting up about that.

* * *

It's summer now. People are amazed about how much time Akashi - who could probably use his time very productively if he wanted to - spent in his room, sleeping.

No one knew about that Akashi actually dreamt, and enjoyed the time he spent, supposedly "asleep" more than anything else in his current life. It wasn't like he didn't have friends while awake - but no one quite intrigued and amused him, and made him feel emotions as much as Tetsuya Kuroko. It was odd, yes, but Akashi had a long time ago temporarily given up on figuring out what, in the end Kuroko meant to him. It was too much to progress. Even though nothing should be too much for an Akashi. Actually that wasn't even quite it. He wasn't even determined enough to find out, he was content with how it was right then, and suspected that thinking things through would make it more complicated.

He wasn't one to avoid challenges. He had yet to officially lose in pretty much anything, and he wouldn't deny something just because it was complicated. But thinking plain rationally it was better like this. For now.

* * *

Kuroko apparently had time too, Akashi had organized some kind of sleeping schedules with him, to make sure they could maximize the time spent together. The sense of time was something that disappeared in there though. It could feel like a day or like half an hour and you'd still wake up the same time as always. During times when there was a wake-up-time, that was.

* * *

Kuroko did have time...he wasn't very busy anymore, for some reason, and could easily agree with any meet-up-time Akashi dared to suggest. He really wanted to too. Because as much as Akashi required Kuroko's presence and words for his sanity and well-being over all - Kuroko needed the other more. In an unexplainable way that made him even feel obligated to do this for his own life's sake. Not that he didn't really really like Akashi, he had grown to the other, and he had noticed the positive influence he himself had had and it made him feel important and happy.

He hadn't used to show expressions, it being easier to stay unnoticed that ways. What makes people stand out was very often - always - their facial expressions and the richness of them, occasionally and partially many other factors too, but that being one of the ones of importance. But anyway, now with Akashi, Kuroko hadn't cared as much - it being pretty impossible to stay out of attention for long periods of time being the only other person there. He had smiled, laughed, pouted, looked angry and annoyed, and even so very very sad, crying. But the latter he had never showed Akashi.

Said redhead would have thought this being extremely unfair, considering how much he had done, and showed to Kuroko, with or against his own will. But the thought hadn't occurred to him yet, at least.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you for asking, but the real question is, are _you_okay?"

"No"

"Oh?"

"Depends on the definition of 'okay'?"

"Well, are you fairly healthy, in an agreeable situation and all right? Satisfied with your life?"

"I...I am in an arguably agreeable situation, this particular moment I am quite satisfied with my position"

"Well...Good then"

There were still so many unanswered questions. But Akashi decided to Ignore them all for the sake of keeping Kuroko's satisfaction in the current situation.

* * *

"Has Akashi-kun ever lied to me?"

Akashi had to contemplate this for a long while. He usually spoke in versions of the truth. Besides, did in many cases an 'absolute truth' even exist? Until a little ago he had thought it would have been his word, and therefore nothing he said was a lie. The winners wrote the history and decided what was right and wrong...and blah blah blah... He couldn't right now at least remember any particular situation when he had said something untruthful to Kuroko.

"I don't think so..."

"Good. Because don't you think it is unfair how I have made a promise like that - to never lie and so on - and still I could never feel secure about if you are lying?"

Akashi sighed with fake exasperation and a twitch of his lips.

"I can make the same promise you made right here and now if you'd like"

"Yes I would"

"I see...Well then, Kuroko Tetsuya - I promise I will never utter a word that is not the truth I know or believe in intentionally, I will refrain from any attempts from misleading you from the truth, and will answer all your questions with total honesty"

Kuroko hmphed, amused and added.

"Akashi-kun, that wasn't the things I promised. I only promised you I would never tell a lie."

At that point in time Kuroko would have promised Akashi nearly anything, that thing actually being one of the most difficult to say - promise - bind yourself to.

* * *

When schools started again, it was more busy than ever for Akashi, especially. There was no way he'd quit his club activities or skip practice because of having 'too much else to do' He was still an overachiever who never got less than 100 on a test.

He had that all plus the work his father assigned for him as preparation for one day in the distant future taking over the company. Akashi was already familiar with the procedures and tricks of the business world, so he'd do well, but that wasn't enough. Indeed he got paperwork, theoretical problems, even attended some occasional meetings together with his father.

His father was still in extremely good health, and really, there was no fear of - for natural reasons - Seijuro having to take over. Still it was important to be prepared, and he sometimes agreed with his father in that even in earlier life it would be very useful to know this kind of stuff and be able to understand and function.

Frankly he could probably move out without anything right this instance and still make his way into riches and fame. He was very..._capable_. His good looks never hurt either.

But anyway, back to him being busy - he was, and not having that much time for sleep. I. a. Kuroko. He regretted this, but in the end the significance of what he did in the 'real world' was bigger than the other. It was a dream, and the other was reality.

Kuroko accepted this with a well-hidden sad smile on his face. He wasn't nearly as busy as Akashi, so he'd probably feel lonely. He made sure Akashi would never know though, because the other was a much more considerate person than you would have thought. And might...Might've given something else up because of him...? Or was this just wishful thinking, overestimation of himself?

...Yeah...That must be it...Akashi wouldn't care that much for him...It was just a precaution to hide his feelings. And a habit also. Even if he hadn't done it for months now. He didn't do it with Akashi and the recent interaction with others had been pretty little.

If you're wondering, anyone asking Akashi himself, would have gotten the opposite answer to Kuroko's. Akashi did. _Care that much._

* * *

Suddenly there was Akashi's shoulder, and when he turned his head he saw the laughing face of Tetsuya. He spun half a round to face the other and grabbed Kuroko by both of his shoulders, holding him in place. It took some effort, Kuroko had come with quite the speed and acceleration.

"Past proper greetings, are we?"

Kuroko pouted. But then just laughed again.

"I just wanted to try surprising you!"

"You...Nearly succeeded"

"I guess that's the closest you'll get to admitting"

"Yes. You're right"

The silence arrived, it was already quite comfortable.

"You seem awfully happy today? Is there any particular reason for it?"

"Is it awful that I'm happy?" Kuroko tilted his head in fake curiosity. "And yes, yes there is"

"No, of course not...And you know it. Would you care to tell me what this reason is?"

"Yes yes. And no, Akashi-kun, I wouldn't"

"Hmph" He huffed slightly. Then he thought of something. "Why are you always using these honorifics. I always just use the first name"

"I know that _you do_, It's your former superiority-complex. I do it like this. It is n my nature to be polite, I call my best friend since birth like this nowadays."

Akashi felt a pang of jealousy. _Best friend_. That Kuroko had a better friend than him...It had been naive to think that Kuroko would be like him. He hated feeling inferior

...Wait...What did Kuroko just say...Did he insult him? If 'superiority-complex' said anything, then yes. But he had talked about 'former' Well...It was true. He could admit it like this in his thoughts. But still...

"...Who's your friend?"

Kuroko looked confused.

"I haven't mentioned him? It's Kagami-kun"

"I have a vague memory about that...But no, not too much"

"Oh, well, I haven't seen him lately, I might've been depressed about it and not wanted to talk"

"I see. But you should..._talk to me_. About anything you'd like."

"I shouldn't. I really shouldn't"

* * *

Another day they continued the conversation they had somehow been sidetracked from earlier.

"About the honorifics...? Tetsuya, really."

"Oh, you would prefer 'Akashi-sama' I expect? Don't worry, I will refer to you properly in the future"

The sarcasm was obviously_ dripping_ from his tone.

Akashi wasn't any better - or worse however you take it.

"Of course, if you please _Tetsuya_?"

"I will see to it _Akashi-sama_"

"...Tetsu...er...Tetsuya..." He felt like dying he had just thought about going all Ryouta on him and calling him 'Tetsuyacchi' or something. Luckily enough he hadn't gotten that far...But he had trouble coming up with anything... "Tecchan"

They both but´rt out laughing. Akashi a bit more reserved, but Kuroko was literally crying with laughter, that was so out of character he couldn't believe it!

"Aka...shi-kun..._really?_" He managed to get out, still short of breath. He could swear he saw Akashi's cheeks tint pink, before he turned away and recovered.

"Really"

It was nice.

* * *

_"Fuck this? Where is my inspiration?"_

_-Me, trying to write this chapter._

_I actually had to re-read the whole thing five times (like chapters 1-5) to even get started! And then I just wrote what I did...Don't expect this chapter to have any significance for the plot... Haha... AANd please don't mind how OOC Akashi is, if possible...that's just...I wanted him to be depressed and stuff, not succeeding and in the progress turning him into someone else. Well, I have a general idea what's gonna happen in the next one~ The happiest part shall begin~ Thanks for everything until now. OHHOHOH constructive criticism! I need it and it is very appreciated if you have any! And any mistakes I have made: I'm sorry.  
_

_Reviews...They...I have no words to how important they are._


	7. Feelings

**You...? **

_(Note: This almost two years later)_

"I can't believe it's been this long"

"Yeah...Three years, or close to it at least"

"You're graduating...Going to university...Moving on...You won't stop coming here, will you?"

"As if would, even if I could. And I was quite convinced you would do those things too. Or are you going to work immediately after high-school?"

"No..."

"I see"

"Let's not think about that now, okay?"

"Sure"

"Let's just enjoy the moment! I mean, it's supposed to be happy!"

"And it isn't? To you?"

"I'm almost always happy here"

"Really, why is that?"

"...It's because of you"

* * *

"In the end it's all because of you"

Akashi was rendered speechless, which was indeed a rare occurrence. Not so much with Kuroko though. 'It's because of you' what did he mean by that? And why did it make Akashi so nervous. He wasn't nervous. That was just it. But it wasn't in a negative way...not really.

"...What is exactly?"

He managed to splutter something, in an almost convincing tone. The question had already been basically answered, but he wanted - no, needed - confirmation. Because, it was impossible, he couldn't have heard right. Or then he had just over-interpreted it. Maybe he didn't mean it like that... But did Akashi want him to?

_Yes, he did._

That inner voice that he in a way wanted to deny.

"I mean...My happiness...It's your fault"

"...My fault?"

He could barely breath evenly by now. He did of course. But neither could Kuroko. He had just bluntly said what was on his mind, not changing his facial expression in the slightest, but now he realized he might have been a bit too open. It was in a way awkward, and very nerve-wrecking to suddenly start talking about...that...A faint blush had appeared on his cheeks.

"..Yes...so?"

A defensive note had appeared in his words, immediately insecure about this, hoping that it wouldn't...ruin anything.

"Oh...I, don't really know what to say"

"That's not a first. But barely a tenth though"

Akashi couldn't help but be amused.

* * *

"But what did you mean by me being the reason for your happiness yesterday?"

Kuroko glanced up from what he had been previously looking at, his gaze revealing nothing. Akashi was incredibly curious, but he didn't wan to insist too much. It might be a sensitive matter, and Akashi was - in fact - quite considerate nowadays.

"You make me happy? Do you need more of a meaning?"

Kuroko was his normal self, and his voice was unreadable. It was difficult to see if there was a deeper meaningfulness or not.

"How? Why?"

Akashi asked questions - those on his mind, for once not bothering to filter it through his conscious brain.

"How? By being here. Existing in this space. Why? Really, Akashi-kun, why?"

Hearing such words that he made someone glad by his mere existence...He had always despised romantic movies like that - where they used lines like that without actual meaning, and the other was enchanted and happily-ever-after...and so on. We never heard of the divorces due to arguments about trivial things and mistrust and cheating that came a few years later. They always chose to end it in a place that gave the impression that it would continue like that forever. But his life - life in general - wasn't something you could just pause, skip or end like that, at least not expecting happiness and well-fare. That's why he was always annoyed at how they ended and avoided movies and books like that - but in the end it was the same with most of all works. They weren't real.

He was still unsure of if this dream was either.

But it felt real enough - it was a huge part of his life, even if it was a secret from all - except, Kuroko of course. It was something he was now sure he would be devastated without. And the whole dream as one thing, it was Kuroko, and only Kuroko - it was him all along, apparently. Because why else would words he would in any other situation - with any other person - hate and be darkly amused of, have made his heart beat, not quite literally, faster, and his brain over-working itself?

"Does...Do you mean anything by it?"

"That is left for Akashi-kun to decide"

His blank stare was boring a hole through Akashi's forehead, he could swear. It wasn't a straight-out denial, but it was obvious that Kuroko considered his own initiative to have been taken, and now - if this should progress anywhere - it was Akashi's turn to make his move.

"Tetsuya..."

"Yes, Akashi-kun"

"I told you already years ago to stop calling me that - we're friends!"

"And I told you, I address my friends like this, _Akashi-kun, _the only imaginable scenario where I wouldn't refer to you as such would be something where we're not friends"

The unspoken _Not only friends - but more. _Was hanging around in the air.

"In that case - why don't we make that scenario the truth?"

What was it with that line? Both parts thought it was stupid. But also pretty fascinating and yeah.

"Really? All this for me to stop calling you _Akashi-kun_?"

"No"

"Well, that was short and compactly said, but excuse me, no matter how well I would be able to read you, that simple a word couldn't explain it all to me. Please, make this a bit more of a detailed explanation"

The truth was that Kuroko was in fact very hesitant towards going any further, for personal reasons, not yet revealed. But he couldn't back away now, not when he was already this far... When he was this near to being permanently happy. But nothing was permanent, even the possible happiness he would reach couldn't last for long. He was happy like this, but only during the night. During the day he felt nothing.

"No" Akashi started again, Kuroko looking sceptically at him for this. "There is more to it. You are the first person whose company I have ever enjoyed like this. I also have never felt anything...like this before. So why not? Unless you...?"

At first they were just staring at each other, without a word. Then Kuroko burst out laughing, it was quiet and held-back at first then loud and clinging in the otherwise silent place. It was a rare one, that laugh, something not heard - even in the last chapter called laughter, Author is sorry - very often, if ever. It made Akashi embarrassed, which was another rare thing.

"What!?"

He sounded slightly offended, having just said something like that, and then Kuroko just being amused by it...

"No...Excuse me. It's just that, Akashi-kun...saying something like that...I would never even have thought...!"

He had slight trouble breathing, and the corners of his eyes were teary, but it was all in a good way.

"Okay. I see. Excuse me then"

He was about to leave, feeling utterly humiliated, having horribly misinterpreted Kuroko's meaning behind his words.

"Don't"

Kuroko grabbed his sleeve, trying to in some way bind him to this world, making it impossible for him to leave. Whether it was that or just Akashi generally changing his mind was a mystery, but he stayed. He remained silent, and waited, using his air of authority to imply that Kuroko was obligated to say something.

"Fine. _Seijuro_. There? Happy?"

Akashi smiled.

"Very"

* * *

What their relationship was...That was a good question? No 'official' agreements had been made, but the little awkwardness had disappeared, and the good thing about this, was that they worked well together, and thought alike to a certain level, being pretty much in sync about what they could do and what not.

Of course it helped that there was no one else, to judge, to look, so they were quite free.

Akashi had never showed any interest in dating anyone in reality - even though there had been surprisingly many possibilities and candidates - so it was no different form before when he kept denying the requests to go out. But even so, it was already university, and even his father started to worry. They needed an heir, and Seijuro was the only son to carry on the bloodline! But there was still time, he convinced himself.

Akashi and Kuroko didn't change much from before. They were there every night, talked, discussed, did random stuff. The only thing that had changed was the risk - or rather the possibility - They both knew, the feeling, that it _could, _happen, anything could, it was such an open situation.

And another change was that Akashi was now called Seijuro-kun, against Kuroko's original wishes and ways, for Akashi had willed it to happen and he didn't bother to disobey him anymore. Not now. It wasn't like it was that a great sacrifice for having this. All this.

* * *

It took a long time - a few months - before anything very special happened. Not because they hadn't been comfortable with it before, but more the opposite - they had been content with how it was.

But then they kissed. After that was the time when it became different.

It was nothing from normal, they were sitting under a tree, talking about Akashi's day.

"Seijuro-kun, I do believe you said that rather rudely!"

But his voice was playful enough to know he was not in the last sorry for Akashi being impolite.

"I know. I must apologize someday then"

He was playing the game, of trying to make Kuroko jealous, or make him feel something, for something to happen, to confirm their... - this was about someone who his father had (probably) sent to him, trying to enhance his wishes of marriage and a relationship. The woman happened to actually be attractive, smart and in love with Akashi, but still she had been not-very-politely declined.

Akashi had just told Kuroko the story, and no matter how it sounded Kuroko was in a way affected. Because the person, was there. Where Akashi physically was. She had a chance of a life together with the redhead, and Kuroko didn't.

"I guess you must then"

Kuroko was a bit sad, but he knew for sure he wouldn't give up like this.

"Are you sure?"

Akashi's smile was not friendly, in that meaning of the word, it was more of a crazy smirk by now...Kind of unsettling in fact. But Kuroko knew he was safe as always.

"Well, it is in polite manners to apologize if you have been rude."

He nodded, at his obvious statement.

"Yes. Maybe I should take her out for dinner..."

Kuroko's eyes narrowed and he backed a bit away from Akashi.

"Maybe"

Akashi was not stopping yet...not the wisest decision he had made.

"Should I buy her something as an apology...Jewelry maybe - they like that?"

Kuroko sighed, he wasn't sure at what, he knew Akashi wasn't nearly as oblivious as he tried to make himself look. But also, because there was the little chance that he was being serious.

"Are you sure? That sounds a bit too much as a simple apology?"

"Might be, but we Akashi's always do everything with style and properly"

"...You seriously said that?"

"...Yes"

"Okay, now I know you're kidding, please give it up and buy her lunch"

"...Fine then"

Plan not successful.

"Still, what is it even that made me reject her?"

"You do not feel attracted to her?"

"I see. Yes"

"What about me?"

"...You?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about"

"Do I?"

"Yes"

Silence ensued.

Then they both started talking at the same time, making it too difficult to hear what the other had tried to say.

"...You first"

"No you"

"You"

"Fine"

"I love you"

...Wait what.

* * *

Kuroko was always a silent child, and when he said something, it was usually straight to the point. He could say nearly anything, no matter how embarrassing, with a totally straight face. And still he raised his brows at people who did the same. Now he had said the exact thing he meant, and for once his face wasn't on zero. It was slowly turning redder and redder. He wasn't used to blushing, it didn't happen too often, so now when his face felt like it was burning, he absentmindedly - having temporarily distanced himself from the situation - wondered if he was sick.

Akashi was just staring, his eyes wide in surprise.

If I have forgot to mention, they had now turned both red.

He knew there was something...But this wasn't as planned, as expected. It was so very...

_He just said he loves me_

"You...do?"

'Well, yeah, I just said so you dimwit' was what someone might have preferred to say, but Kuroko just looked down and played with his thumbs.

"I''m sorry"

Well, there had had to be something...I mean, they were kind of in a relationship, so why did a confession come as such a surprise? Perhaps because they had never really cleared anything up, but just assumed everything as obvious.

Akashi needed to say something. Do something. Anything?

He did, what he could...He moved up to Kuroko and touched his red cheeks with his preciously cold fingertips, lifting his face upwards. Kuroko turned his gaze, and he was crying. A bit. How could the mood change so fast?

But Akashi was all Kuroko had, the whole reason for his existence. Not even exaggerating. He couldn't lose him.

Akashi had a sudden determination as he leaned in for a soft and quick kiss. But Kuroko was more eager than he would have thought, and when he pulled away - or tried to - Kuroko followed. Not that he minded, suddenly he had arms wrapped around his neck, and his own hands were running through Kuroko's hair. But the kiss was still as innocent as ever.

"Me too, don't worry"

_I felt like I could finally die happy_

* * *

_Soooooo...? The next chapter is the one I've been looking forward to writing ever since I started this whole story. And I know I suck at romance, I don't have any personal experience (Why am I even writing this then?) But you'd better expect the next one soon! I can't wait to write it you see~ Thank you so extremely much for all the support all~_

_A review - it doesn't cost you anything to drop it off?  
_


	8. All along you were?

**All along, you were...?**

Happiness couldn't last forever. Or could it?

When you are truly happy, are you happy, or do you worry about how and/or when it will end? Shouldn't you enjoy the time while it lasts? But the problem is you won't feel content until you know the time it'll last will be forever.

He really did try. And to a certain level succeeded, for he knew if this wasn't happiness, then nothing was.

* * *

_"You haven't really changed have you?"_

_"You have, in all these years, I would barely recognize you"_

_"But why haven't you?"_

_"I guess I just won't grow or change anymore"_

* * *

Kuroko groaned a bit, stretching and opening his eyes, to see Akashi standing there, hovering over him and looking him into the eyes.

"Good morning"

Kuroko narrowed his eyes annoyed.

"It's not morning, Sei-kun"

"It never is when I'm here, but you seem to have just woken up, so I thought I'd greet accordingly like to that"

Kuroko grimaced and sat up. Akashi reached out his hand, and Kuroko took it, using it as support for getting into an upright position. He muttered a quiet thanks while panicking about Akashi knowing that it wasn't possible to be unconscious there under normal circumstances.

But Akashi didn't even notice the abnormality. He had to ask a question today. It was a very important question too. He had finally...decided to as the one thing he had been thinking of for years.

"Tetsuya. We should meet up in real life"

Kuroko stopped in his tracks at these words. They had been unawarely moving, so that's how it was possible. His gaze locked on the ground to not reveal his panicked and quickly calculating expression. But Akashi noticed.

"...Tetsuya?"

"Uhmm...I don't...think, that would be a good idea..."

Kuroko was absolutely trapped. He couldn't do anything, say anything to free himself, no proper explanation was available. Either Akashi would hate him. No! Akashi...couldn't hat him...He would die. Or he would have to reveal what he had kept hidden all this time. Which was not an option wince it would probably lead to the first option. He had no way out, it seemed.

Akashi's eyes flickered. He hadn't expected resistance to this great idea he had, he really just wanted to see Kuroko, to b able to connect him with the reality he knew as life. And possibly have a happy one together. Not just possibly. If they meant, for sure they would be together for ever just like in those movies he so hated. They would cut off their diaries in a place where it seemed like it would be a happily-ever-after, deceive the fate and humanity, but still keep going as themselves. But now...

"Why?"

Kuroko didn't reply. Actually he backed away, and when Akashi tried to grab his hand he slapped the approaching limb away.

"We've been dating for a _year_! It would be nice to officially meet you! I thought there would be no problem? By train from Tokyo to Kyoto doesn't take very long! I have always avoided this because I wasn't sure whether it is real, or if I wanted it to be! But now I know for sure, Tetsuya Kuroko, without you I can't be happy and I need you to exist!"

Kuroko bowed down even more, hiding the tears at Akashi's words. He was simultaneously so glad and so full of grief.

"No...You don't understand...I-I can't"

"FINE!"

And Akashi just left, without any greater issues, leaving Kuroko to fall to the ground, and metaphorically drown in a sea made of his own tears.

* * *

_"How are you here again? You're always here?"_

_"Maybe we just move in sync"_

_"Unlikely"_

_"But possible"_

* * *

Back in his own bedroom,his own house, Akashi was on the verge of crying too, mind you he didn't. He was so disappointed, so angry, at Kuroko - at himself. There were still a few minutes until his alarm would go off. He spent those minutes thinking feverishly. Why, did Kuroko not was to see him? Was there some secret he didn't know? Had it all been an act?

The latest he denied immediately, it couldn't have been. No one would be like that, be so infatuated and so...So the type that Akashi would fall for. No one could've succeeded in that. How would they have done it anyway?

Wait...

Then, the same second as the frequent vibrations started - he knew exactly what he would do.

* * *

_"A mysterious call, huh?"_

_"Yes, any advice?"_

_"Just forget about it"_

_"But-"_

_"Please"_

* * *

...

"Daiki, is that you?"

"Yeah, Akashi, Whaddya want?"

It was after school, and he decided to call his former friend/teammate from high-school, who these days was studying to be part of the police. He would know if anyone. He was kind of sluggish and lazy so it was a surprising choice of career, but Akashi didn't bother to think about that now. There were more urgent matters on hand.

"I want you to tell me all you can find out about a certain Kuroko Tetsuya"

"Wait a moment"

The line became silent, but he hadn't missed the sudden awareness in the other's voice. As if he had recognized something...

In a few minutes he heard strange noises from the other end of the line. Then Aomine was back.

"Why do you want to know about him?"

Akashi's upper lip twitched in annoyance, even though the other couldn't see it, and his tone turned into a dangerous one. It was clear, as if you were speaking to a little child, formulating every word detailed, making sure they understood.

"You are questioning me?"

Aomine gulped nervously, knowing all too well the consequences of defying Akashi's will.

"It's not me, I swear! It's Taiga who's asking this!"

Akashi frowned, confusedly.

"Who is this Taiga you're speaking of?"

Aomine looked at Kagami standing next to him, eyebrows - all four of them - stuck in a suspicious and angry expression. He was very protective of his best friend.

"He's my mate here. He was Tetsu's best friend, Kagami Taiga"

Kagami-!

"Can you please hand the phone over to him?"

Muffled sounds were heard, and then there came a voice.

"Hello, Kagami Taiga here"

Akashi nearly gasped, but managed to act as refined as usual.

"...So, you're 'Kagami-kun'"

"Hah?"

"Ka-ga-mi**-**ku-n"

The anger and frustration were obvious in his tone.

"How did ya know Kuroko!?"

"None of your business. Just tell me what you know"

Aomine's voice in the background saying something of resemblance to 'Ya better just do it, or yer gonna regret it' was heard. And then Kagami started telling, with some reluctance - the whole story.

* * *

_"I swore to never tell a lie"_

_"To me"_

_"So you'd better believe me when I say that I could never love anyone else"_

* * *

It couldn't be true. It couldn't! There was no way that bastard Taiga's words had any trace of truthfulness in them. Ab´void and forget the logic and the way it would explain literally everything, it was simply impossible. _No way!_

He was lying in his bed, desperately trying to fall asleep, such a simple task he usually had no problems with. Now he couldn't do it. His mind was too occupied - too full of thoughts, trying to either apply or dissolve logic from the story he had earlier heard.

He closed his eyes, frantically kept them shut. He took a sleeping pill, and patiently tried to wait until it would start functioning. But his breath was quick, he was more nervous than he had ever in his whole life been. Because this would decide everything, wouldn't it?

_Yes, it would._

* * *

_"You would never under any circumstances leave me?"  
_

_"I can't promise what I can't keep"_

_"..."_

_"Just forget, please?"_

* * *

He was finally there! He saw the trees around him, they blue sky above his head, and he couldn't care a bit less about them. He was only searching for one blue, and that was the color of his beloved's hair. He couldn't find it. He could sense Kuroko's presence, it would be strange if not, considering Kuroko was always there.

_He must be hiding!_

The thought occurred to him suddenly, as he ran around shouting Tetsuya's name. It made him sad, that Kuroko would be hiding from him. He would never. Ever. Hurt the other, on purpose at least. It seemed that accidentally he already had.

If...If it was true...How could he cope? If it was true, how had Kuroko coped all these years? Now he was already considering the possibility of it being true! How ridiculous. It wasn't...tr..ue...

"Where ARE YOU TETSUYA!?"

He had never sounded so desperate before in his life. He had never felt so desperate.

* * *

_"So, let's play hide and seek, Seijuro"  
_

_"Isn't that only for kids?"_

_"You'd be surprised at how fun it is!"_

* * *

Kuroko was hiding in a tree. He had formed it himself, and he knew it was almost impossible for even Akashi to find him there. He was crying, because in the end he didn't want to hide. He was tired of this eternal game of hide and seek, hiding the truth, not by lies but by camouflage. Should he just go out, out in the open? Out to face Akashi...? Was he ready? No. Would he ever be? No. Would he just keep hiding here forever? Drowning in the illusion of the last happiness he had and had had?

Would he want to? Yes. Could he? No. Even if he could, would he be able to bear it? No.

But it was time to stop hiding.

* * *

_"Found you!"  
_

_"You were right"_

_"How so?"_

_"This really is fun!"_

* * *

"Akashi-kun"

Akashi didn't even protest to the use of his last name. The situation didn't call for an argument. It called for the truth.

"Is it true"

Kuroko remained silent, hearing the slight accusation behind the words. He knew what the other was talking about - no doubt about it.

"It is"

Akashi just stood there - staring at the person in front of him - the one he blindly loved, had loved for so long - with entirely new eyes he now saw this person. This person who hadn't told a lie - just kept it up.

"So...You...You're"

Kuroko stared blankly, his eyes empty of all emotion, having used it all up already. He had given up, and knew - that from now on, he would be truly alone. Now it was entirely over. There wasn't a single chance that Akashi could accept how it really was...What he had fallen in love with unknowingly.

"I am"

Akashi had no idea what to think anymore. Since two months after they first met... It had all been an illusion - not an act, but definitely not real either.

_**"You're dead"**_

* * *

_Tadaaaaaaah! There! That was the idea this h´whole fanfic was based on. Sorry for all you who expected happy fluffy meetings irl. I should have waited with publishing this chapter, but I couldn't, I was just so exited! I'm sorryyyyyyyh, it's not over yet, it might have a somewhat happy ending, so yeah...It's okay if you wanna stop reading this now... It's also pretty short, but I needed to end it with those words. I will continue updating, and you'll have the next chapter in a short while. I'd say - depending in how I'll end it, that there are approximately 2-5 chapters left. Thank you for staying with me at least until now. I'm sure many of you already knew btw? Please tell me if you did? I know at least a few with suspicions. Tell me what you think!? Please_

_...Re...view..._


	9. About

**Death**

" For...How long?"

Akashi asked a question, even if he already knew the answer.

"You already heard the story from someone...Kagami-kun?"

Kuroko blinked his eyes in question at the last part.

"Yes, I did, but I want to hear it from you too"

Kuroko looked at him intensely and then nodded.

"Fine, just ask and I'll tell you anything"

There was a moments silence as Akashi let it sink in again...that his love was actually dead. It was very confusing.

"I have been dead for over three years, since an incident about two and a half months after the occurring of our first meeting"

Akashi nodded - this fitted in with everything else he knew.

"That phone call - was it you?"

This was something he actually didn't know, but suspected very strongly, he wanted to know for sure, because that was a thing that he had worried about for a long time. He had never found out...And now the answer might be standing right in front of him.

"Yes...In a way that was me. But the calls arrived late. I did call you...but that was before my death and not after it"

Akashi looked puzzled at Kuroko again, but moved his head slightly as to acknowledge what he had heard.

"Then...What about how? What was the cause?"

Kuroko smiled sadly and spun a round before he started replying to that one. The cause of one's death might be a bit of a sensitive matter sometimes, maybe?

"I have been weak since birth - I had not actually been given a proper condition or diagnose, so it came as a surprise, when I started collapsing after even as little effort as walking home from school. Everyone was really worried, but I wouldn't take it - I even continued with Basketball, which I now of course realize was extremely stupid. But in any case, I kept losing consciousness for a quite long time, and once I just didn't wake up. Nothing too dramatic. I was later diagnosed too, with-"

"Shhh..."

Akashi put his finger over Kuroko's lips with a dark look in his eyes. He didn't want to hear any more...He had expected it...to become sad, hearing it again, this time recognizing it as the truth. But still, it was barely bearable. Kuroko's words faded away into silence. Akashi broke it with yet another question.

"Where do you go when this world disappears?"

Kuroko looked more down than earlier and laughed quietly.

"I am dead. When this word disappears, so do I"

Akashi was actually a bit shocked by this, he hadn't expected it...He hadn't expected anything... He had still somehow lived in the illusion that when he woke up, so did Kuroko. Now it all shattered, the sweet dream he had spent so many years living.

"...Then...Is everything just a lie?"

Kuroko looked at him with pity in his eyes, and Akashi hated it.

"That is for you to decide, Akashi-kun"

* * *

It felt obvious that the next night, he wouldn't get there...he wouldn't meet Kuroko...His unconscious would give him time to think of everything.

He still had no idea what brought him to their dreamworld, if he was to be perfectly honest. What had caused their meeting - their connection in the first place? Had it been such a ridiculous thing as 'true love' or had it been fate...or perhaps its desire to mock Akashi and make him suffer?

Because surely that was the only thing this could lead to - suffering?

When he thought about it...Even if only for a second, it made him terrified to think that in this moment - Kuroko Tetsuya was dead, and in a way, _didn't exist_.

And he existed only when Akashi dreamt. Did that make Kuroko but a mere dream of his.

_No, he has existed, i have proof of that!_

So it happened that he really did sleep a dreamless sleep that night. He wasn't sure if regretted it or not. The problem remained: _What would he do from now on?_

* * *

He made his decision after a good while of thinking. His decision was something he would have never considered...even now it was his last resort. But he decided to rely on people. He would ask for advice.

He made his calls, he actually called all of his high-school time friends. Daiki, Ryouta, Shintarou, Atsushi...He asked if Daiki could organize for Taiga to come - he was probably the most familiar with Kuroko, and could be a help. Even though he couldn't stand the guy, it was a good idea, he must admit to himself.

They would all meet up the next day, all of them were coming, none really daring or even caring to defy - or more like deny, Akashi.

He hadn't still wholly made his mind up on the exact questions, or how much he would revel of the situation - Kuroko's friend would be there so it seemed pretty difficult... But the only one directly affected by the revelation would be himself - knowing the fact that Kuroko was dead. It was all up to him.

He would have to carefully think this through...Why oh why had he decided to interact with people who - (hopefully) - considered him their friend? It made everything so complicated.

* * *

"Akashicchii...Why did you call us here? I'm pretty busy too~" Kise Ryouta asked in a whiny tone, sitting around a table filled with colorful heads.

They were in a very nostalgic place - A place they always went during middle school, when Akashi still lived in Tokyo too. It was a fast-food restaurant surprisingly enough, you wouldn't think it suits Akashi's tastes. He had, in fact, suggested it only as most of them (excluding Kagami probably) knew where it was and could arrive there at a day's notice.

They were already adults and it was more of a habit to follow Akashi's lead than anything else.

"I need advice" Akashi calmly stated looking around forming eye-contact with everyone on their turn.

A loud gasp was heard, and the makers of this noise were none others than Akashi's former teammates. They couldn't believe what they had just heard. _The great Akashi asking for advice!? _It was unheard of. A loud and not-so-secretive whisper was also heard, and it included Kagami asking 'What the hell had happened?' and 'What was so shocking about that?'

Aomine clearly hadn't spoken too much of Akashi to him - save for the slight incantations that he was a mild psychopath control-freak with a superiority- and height-complex. He didn't seem that bad though.

...Back to the current topic.

"You..._You_ need _advice_?"A brave Aomine Daiki finally stuttered, a very uncharacteristically suspicious expression stuck on his face.

Akashi raised one of his red eyebrows, stifling a smile...It was pretty amusing. When he spoke his voice was as cold and collected as always.

"Didn't I just say so?"

"Yeah, you did..."

The shock from the other people present's faces also started to fade, and Midorima Shintarou opened his mouth to ask a question.

"So, what is this all about, Akashi?" He looked at Akashi straight in the eyes, correcting the position of his glasses on his nose - a habit he apparently still hadn't gotten rid of.

"It's about this one person" Akashi had hesitated a bit...which was unusual enough, but adding to that he was being very vague. He looked uncertain and uncomfortable...No one from there had ever seen him like that. The were silent and stared at him again.

The silence was pressuring.

Suddenly Kagami, who didn't understand why everyone was so quiet (plus he was frustrated) stood up and slammed his palms on the table, making a loud sound.

"What's with this!? Is this about Kuroko!? How did you even know him!?" He shouted angrily, confronting Akashi, who didn't look away.

Akashi blinked slowly and then a confident expression returned to his face and a smooth voice came out "Yes. This is about Tetsuya" He smiled that good old smile of his, eyes turning into slits. He really didn't like this person.

"Haaah!?"

"Why do you sound surprised, I only confirmed _your_ assumption"

The voice flowed out of his mouth, sounding like a melody...One that would be heard on the phone in a horror movie. Kagami grunted and looked away, not knowing how to react...Akashi had a certain aura of authority surrounding him.

"What about Tetsu?"

Aomine after a while asked, gaining a reaction from Akashi. A rather quick one.

"Tetsu?" His tone was questioning, the question behind it obviously being 'Why do you call him that? Do you know him?'

And the sad thing was that Akashi still spoke in present and not past tense when talking - or thinking - of Kuroko.

"Yeah? We were in the same middle school? You were too, ya know?"

Akashi hid his emotions well, but he couldn't help but be utterly overwhelmed by factor that he had been that near Kuroko for so long...and hadn't even known about it...He wondered if Kuroko had recognized him and pretended that he never knew...

"Of course, yes, it escaped my memory"

At this point Kagami had regained his energy and decided to bother them again. "HAH? You didn't even remember him!? And now ya want to know? YOU didn't even tell me how you know him now then!"

"I remember him very well, better than I would like to, I know him - probably better than any of you, just from a different time. And..." He hesitated, his words fading away again, his gaze wavering a bit, using up concentration on holding back tears. He managed, and looked back up. "I love him"

* * *

It was fairly unbelievable, Midorima Shintarou thought as he made his way home, that Akashi actually loved someone. Never mind it was someone he met in a dream and who happened to be dead (Shin-chan believes in horoscopes you know?) but the fact that Akashi had softened, put down his walls enough and actually let someone in - without closing the door after them and telling them that there was no escape now. He had freely accepted his own feelings, that Midorima had gotten the feeling were returned, and let go, doing all in his power to reach happiness even in such a situation as this.

He recalled what had happened after Akashi's surprisingly bold statement.

_"WHAT!?" The question echoed for a long while in the -for some reason - empty room (Maybe it was all the noise, look even the waiters are shivering over there!) before Akashi nodded and made a confirming 'Mm' sound, nodding. That was very uncharacteristic of him too. The silence that ensued was very uncomfortable.  
_

_"You...Love him...But you don't even remember him?"_

_"I told you already, Ryouta, I remember him"_

_"From where!?"_

_"From my dreams"_

_What the actual...? That was idiotic, to say something like that, could Akashi be serious? Or was he just kidding...? Scratch that Akashi wasn't capable of something like that. But he was wearing such a neutral expression...Anyone would be embarrassed to say something like that!? Had he turned into Kuroko or what?_

_No just picked up a few traits...It didn't make him any less scary._

_"...Excuse me but, what might you mean, Akashi"_

_"Exactly what I said...Or actually, in the beginning it was **our**_ _dream. I met him in a dream." _

The complicated explanations, confusions, nervous laughter and wondering on if Akashi had finally lost it, that had followed were too much to think about. The advice Akashi in the end seemed to get was near to none.

What Midorima didn't know was that Akashi had gotten all the answers he needed.

Too bad that neither did Akashi.

* * *

_"If you love him then that's it"_

* * *

But it would still take time for even Akashi to realize his true intentions, and to know what would be fine to do from now on. He decided that he'd have to get back to sleep. He needed to see Kuroko.

The second he got home he laid down on his bed, not bothering with anything, he didn't live at home anymore so no one would know, no one would care. He had no orange pillow anymore either...It was black as the night, contrasting his hair-color perfectly...Not that anyone would ever see.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying desperately to drift away once again.

_Tetsuya..._

* * *

_Okay, been busy, still not done editing through the earlier chapters either, but hey! I've started! I'm doing this because for your sake...I admire you way too much . Okay no one knows what I'm talking about...Annywaaayyys, this chapter's sorta strange and written 100 words at a time so it's a bit...confusing, and yeah...Nearing the end here...3 chapters at most I'd say. The reviews are always so nice~ There were a lot of you who guessed this outcome! Let's see who can guess the final end? I didn't actually come up with it, but only after I'd started writing this I told a friend (who's not in this fandom btw) and she just continued! Thanks friend. I'm guessing you will...? _

_Well again, Reviews are the thing that keeps me going! _


	10. Thinking

**Thinking**

_Akashi smiled as he saw the powder-blue haired male in front of him on the grassy field. He put out his hand and yelled...He hadn't intended to but his voice came out louder and cleared than he had expected. _

_"Tetsuya!"_

_Kuroko was smiling back at him, reaching out...And then the image shattered. Kuroko wasn't gone yet..._

_Akashi could see the other disappearing from right in front of him_, _he tried to grab Kuroko's sleeve, arm, anything! His hand just didn't reach it, no matter how much he tried, all resistance it met was the air, only it felt more like water. He shouted his name over and over, But the other didn't react, just kept slowly dissolving his eyes open and body unmoving. He wasn't even breathing. _

_"TETSUYA! Wake up!" _

_Akashi finally managed to get into physical contact, and Kuroko turned back solid...But then they were suddenly falling, and Kuroko was still stiff and cold as ice... He didn't even know where he was...It was all black... _

_But Kuroko wasn't dead. He couldn't be._

_He stroked Kuroko's cheek lovingly and a single tear rolled down on it. They were still falling. _

_Now he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see or hear, his mind was slowly getting foggy, his voice was silent when he tried to cry out Kuroko's name. Or was it just him only who couldn't hear it?_

_And then there was nothing. _

_He couldn't say how long it was...because it was nothing...There was not even any time. Was that how it was like to be dead? Was that how Kuroko had it? _

_When everything returned at once...It was all too much, he screamed in agony at his senses and his mind, so awake. How had Kuroko endured this? Speaking of him where was he? _

_Akashi was not done with screaming . it all got louder and louder, he couldn't hear anything else, he couldn't concentrate on his surroundings...Then there was a voice, not exactly Kuroko´s more like how you would imagine higher powers speaking down to you...:_

_"You have not made your decision yet"_

* * *

Akashi woke up sweaty, panting and having a sore throat. Apparently he had been screaming in his sleep. Not like anyone had heard, he lived alone after all, and he had been quite happy with how soundproof the apartment was.

It was a nightmare. A normal nightmare.

But it was the first in nearly 4 years...He hadn't had a single one since he met Kuroko. And this one ironically was about Kuroko. The memory was fading away, he couldn't remember details, he couldn't remember the feeling of not feeling anything - that he had before thought himself so accomplished in. But what he did remember was the - both rational and irrational - fear he had felt, and those last words...

He was sure it was Kuroko. Telling him that he had to make a decision by himself - a proper, and final one - before they would meet again. If they would.

Akashi could just let it go, and forget, go on with his life and fall in love again. But no, he _couldn't_. He had been too focused on his dreams in those last years that they had started to feel like reality and the real word was the dream. He had distanced himself from pretty much everything. Besides it in that moment felt like he could never love anyone except Kuroko. It might be true, it might not. He would know. Or then he wouldn't. It depended on what he chose to do in the very last place.

He had to see Kuroko again no matter what the cost, even if only once...Otherwise there was not a single possibility that he could let go.

* * *

This time he would have to do it alone. On his own. Without any help. Well, that wasn't too difficult considering that was the lifestyle he had had for most of his life. Do it yourself. No one can do it anyway, since no one is better than you, you can as well do it yourself. That was how he had believed it worked. But now he understood there were things even he would be thought incompetent in.

Now he didn't exactly believe that, he had a mind of his own, and his father had not formed it entirely, but he would still do without help. From the last time he asked for assistance (one of the less than 20 times) he had not-so-very-pleasant-memories. But also memories of advice and wise, or not-so-wise words that were far enough to try to form his own opinion.

He usually wasn't short on those.

Now he was thinking. He ate breakfast, and thought, drank tea, for his sore throat, and thought. He took a shower, didn't sing, but thought. He thought about it everywhere he went, all the time, no matter what he did. Even when he went to work, his mind didn't leave the issue for a second.

_How?_

_What do I need to decide on?_

_How final will it be? _

_Why?_

_Why can't I just let go?_

_When?_

_When will I be able to see him again?_

_Why did I just think that?_

_Am I not trying to figure out how to see him?_

_But I have to make a decision?_

_What decision?_

_Is there a time limit?_

_But I could wait three years and to Kuroko the time wouldn't exist. _

_Or would it?_

_Is there a way?  
_

_A way to be able to get him back to life?_

_Spend our lives together?_

_ My feelings never changed, will never change, no matter how dead he is._

* * *

Time existed for Kuroko...He was dead, but because of Akashi two things existed. No, three actually. Time, pain...And he himself. Without Akashi he wouldn't be there, he knew. There being in an eternal emptiness that was filled with the before-mentioned pain.

There were no coherent thoughts, no feelings...except for the pain, and the longing. Still, he couldn't open the door, he couldn't let Akashi in. Because if he met Akashi only once more, it would be unbearable, because he wouldn't disappear, not before Akashi's memory of him did. And that would take too long, he couldn't stand this suffering anymore...He needed Akashi...

* * *

Their goals differed. Akashi wanted to see Kuroko only once...to be able to let go...or? Kuroko wanted, to be able to get away, escape, either completely erase Akashi's memory, which he of course wasn't capable of. So the other option was...To have Akashi stay with him forever.

But was there a way to make that happen? Not that he knew...

Didn't this mean that the only way...

...didn't exist, that they were both doomed...

...or at least Kuroko was.

_Was it really so?_

* * *

Akashi wasn't sure...He hated the feeling, of not knowing, of being incapable of doing something, whether it be making a decision or reaching a shelf. He had had trouble with the latter, especially in his younger days.

An idea had occurred to him, if it was to be called that...A solution...A possibility.

But was he able to...Could he make that decision, would he be capable of doing it...Was the answer a yes or no? He didn't know himself.

He had nightmares every night now, and feared going to sleep, he always woke up either crying or screaming, and was still so grateful for sound-proof walls. Because it wasn't something he was supposed to do. He always managed to get back to normal in a few minutes, correct his disheveled appearance, and get back his calm demeanor. Not that anyone saw, it was just a habit. He was ashamed of his condition, all just because of one...Person, who was dead.

And was there a way he could meet Kuroko without going on this crazy idea, the whim he had had.

An Akashi didn't do things on a whim, that he had always learned, and still now he felt extremely tempted to do so, forgetting that this would have more consequences than any other thing he could do. He had been under control for so long, he had been pressured to be perfect, and even if it all had eased with meeting Kuroko the first time, and the second, and all the hundreds of times, he still had the urge to become free.

_Just be free.  
_

_Give it all up, huh?_

* * *

There was no confirmation it would work. The probability it wouldn't was very high. Akashi didn't take risks. He was always simply sure of his victory, and any other outcome was unthinkable, as we know. But he was quite unsure about this.

But every night he saw Kuroko lifeless in the middle of nothing, and then he was screaming in agony himself, he felt that he most certainly could do it. Would.

Then he woke up and came to his senses, not convinced anymore. How far would he go for love - an emotion he hadn't believed in. Was it even an emotion? If not then what? And no, he was not stupid, he could write a perfectly good essay about it included, he was now trying to think on a deeper level.

How much could he trust Kuroko, how much could he trust himself. How much of his trust did he have left to give to anyone? Had he ever had any? Trust wasn't something he gave easily, not at all really.

But Kuroko he had trusted until now, with feelings he hadn't showed to anyone, with the secrets of the darkest pits of his mind..._ And how did that end up? He never trusted you, he never told you he was dead. _

**_Because he knew this would happen._**

_But if he'd told you sooner...-  
_

**_No._**

If Akashi had know sooner, he wouldn't even have considered what he was now thinking of - he would've left immediately, without as much as a second thought. Now he was too attached, he knew too well... Perhaps Kuroko had known this...maybe he just hadn't wanted Akashi to leave?

Or was this wishful thinking? Did Kuroko want to live, and used Akashi and his affections for that? No. That wasn't...Couldn't be.

_He knew Kuroko. Kuroko wasn't that good an actor._

* * *

The question remained throughout weeks, would he? As before, he functioned normally, lived his life, and he wondered if it would be okay, if he could, just keep going like this.

No matter how many times this came to him, the answer was always the same no. No.

It was impossible, a word that had appeared in his dictionary only after he got to know Kuroko. SO much had happened after that, so much had changed. He didn't want to go back to the time before it, but neither did he want to live on like this. So what was there left?

* * *

_"Tetsuya...I know now...So please? Can I see you again? Feel you again?"_

_He could hear the reply that didn't even exist. _

_"Of course"_

_But was it real._

* * *

Akashi wouldn't mind living his whole life as a lie or an illusion, as long as he got to live it with Kuroko.

* * *

_Okay, hello again. Fast updates ftw huh? As a comfort to ya all I still have no idea what I´m writing here and am merely typing something that I think might be significant. I know I am not good at describing feelings ive never had myself, I am basing everything on what I´ve read. This chapter is kinda short and full of stuff...two chapters more people! I am extremely grateful for all the support and stuff! Please keep it up! But my computer crashed so the next might take a whil (I´m on a relative´s) Or might not, it depends on how fast a error gets fixed. _

_Aaah, I just...that people actually review MY story, it´s incredible! Makes me happy!_


	11. What is going on

**Did you hear?**

"Did you hear what he did?"

"Yes"

"...As dramatic as always...until the very last..."

"Yeah, I would never have believed..."

"Everything was going so well for him!"

"To just give up like that"

"What could have driven him to this"

"He was such a strong person, I have no idea"

"His future was so very bright!"

"It's such a shame"

"Yes, indeed"

"I still can't believe it"

"It's not that uncommon among people his age...but _him_?"

Some people were sad. Some disappointed. Some were just shocked. But most were quite indifferent.

It was a mystery why he had done what he had done, how he had managed to make it the news of the month, and how he had even succeeded in making those arrangements to end it like that.

Don't get me wrong, he hadn't been a straight-out disturbance to others, like those who decided to jump in front of trains, and make people late from their busy timetables, those kinds that had brought the level of people's caring to the minimum. Now the loss of a humans life in such close proximity from them meant nothing more than a nuisance.

No, Akashi did it with style, as any one would expect. He left a mess yes, but he also made his last impression to the world one to be remembered. The poison he ingested, was very...effective. And he made sure to do it at a time when _no one _would miss it.

It was a very mysterious thing, how he had acquired such a substance... But it was Akashi after all, not impossible for him, no.

There was only a limited amount of people who knew. Who knew_ why?_

* * *

"Do ya really think that's it?"

"Yea, I mean, he sounded pretty passionate, Akashi is never like that"

"But...for Kuroko?"

"Yeah, Tetsu seems to be the only person he ever cared about and blah blah blah, should I feel offended btw, I've know him for longer, but anyways, why would it matter to ya? Ya didn't even know him?"

"...No I didn't...But...ya know...Kuroko? I just thought...What if it's really true?"

"I wouldn't doubt that Akashi thought so at least. He isn't the type to lie. He might have gone crazy, if that is to be counted as a possibility."

"Nah, Akashi's always been a little...U kno, but I don't think he could sink any further?"

"Haaaaa...Aka-chin is dead..."

"Don't lie to me, you are affected, aren't you?"

"Aren't we all?"

"No. I only care about Kuroko"

"I wasn't including ya Taiga"

"Hah!?"

"Ignoring that, do you believe in Akashi's story? He clearly believed in it enough himself to...Die for it"

"I'm not sure what to think...It's pretty unbelievable, yeah?"

"But Akashi isn't stupid"

"But I seriously thought that guy was incapable of human emotions and feelings"

"I believe ...it's true..."

"Huh? Really, wouldn't have thought that of you"

"Or is this just something to give you hope cause you miss them?"

"Nah, I wouldn't do that. I don't really miss him anyways"

"Yeah, no kidding, you even cried when Tetsu died, and I know that ya were one of the closest to Akashi too"

"Hmph"

"But we gathered here today to discuss Akashi's suicide, the reasons and truths behind it. Should we maybe get to it already"

"Haven't we already? We talked about if what he told us could be true"

"Let's voootteee!"

"How can ya be so cheerful! U should be crying!"

"Those who think Akashi is happy raise their hands!"

"Seriously?"

"he's dead, Kise, accept reality"

"Agh, why would I do this"

"This is useless"

"Just shut up Kise"

"Weelll! We've reached a conclusion, everyone raised their hands so now we'll just have to move on to the next thing!"

"I didn't"

"No one was counting ya in Taiga"

"Haah!?"

_How are they all so cheerful? Do they think death is a game? A joke? Or were they hiding sadness behind happy faces? Maybe they were just truly idiots who were accepting and believing. I would never know. _

* * *

It had been a reasonably average day in May, when Akashi Seijuro had taken his own life. He had done it for his own sake, still wanting to make it known. That was the last of his desire to be remembered.

(But as all - or the very majority - he was soon to be forgotten. With the definition of soon being 'within a lifetime' Because in the end a lifetime is nothing. Not compared to the eternity he would probably have hoped for)

There wasn't a single person who straight out cried. The ones that were the closest to it were those that had never really known him...the former servants of his house, those who had lived with him at his worst and seen him grow, and become better, those that had become attached to him with time. They cried at everything anyway. Maybe they were just shocked to not reach that point in this case, where crying would have been more appropriate than usually.

* * *

It has been mentioned that they supposedly knew each other in the past, right? Kuroko Tetsuya and Akashi Seijuro.

Truth be told, Akashi had long wondered how he couldn't recall a single memory of Kuroko in middle school, where they - according to the others - had went together and been in the same club and all. Kuroko did have a weak presence, but three years was a long time, and Kuroko - again, words of others - apparently spent a year as a regular too...on the same team, so this was pretty strange.

He had yet had to figure out a answer before the time he had decided to die, but he wasn't the type to leave things unfinished - it would leave him with too many regrets even if it was something as trivial as to close the fridge door before his death. And this was a mystery, even concerning his beloved (and dead) Tetsuya.

He literally postponed his suicide in an attempt to find out why he didn't remember his middle-school teammate. He had had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to make the connection in his mind, even if he managed to regain the memories (he was sure he had just forgotten), but as mentioned, he wasn't one to give up.

* * *

He asked around, trying to figure out what their relationship had been, if they'd interacted...He heard a lot about it...Apparently they used to be fairly close, until he himself did something quite unforgivable. It seemed as if he had changed because of the same Kuroko then too...but it had all been reversed due to shock, at what he had done. Had it been because of that that he had forgotten? Probably.

They hadn't been the closest, even if quite. They were teammates, they occasionally did something together, but not like it was now. They had then preceded going to different schools in different cities, and Akashi had completely forgotten about it all.

Did this show how things were so very unimportant to him? How nothing mattered but success, victory and perfection, how welfare and superiority should be reached for not for the gain but for itself? Yeah. Can you blame him? Being raised like that could have serious consequences.

But back to how well they had known each other in middle school. No one knew.

* * *

Truly, when Kuroko had first seen Akashi in the dream...He had not a single memory of it either. How that had happened was as much of a mystery as how any logic can be discovered in this story.

Perhaps his memory of things prior to his death was selective. He might have forced himself to leaving it all behind. After all it had been a bit mentally scarring - the last year of middle school. He had been pretty weak back then. If not only physically then also psychologically.

His 'feelings' had developed with time just as Akashi's not due to any memories.

His love was as real as any other.

The relationship that had developed between them was nothing too surreal - ignoring that it all happened inside a dream-world and one of them was dead most of the time - just a simple attraction, turned into extremely deep feelings. Something that simple high school students would maybe be considered incapable of.

Kuroko had always known that it must end someday. And he was convinced that the end would be a tragic one. How could it be anything else? How he continued to live on in this dream even if his life in reality had ended. Wasn't it a sin to be granted another chance? Wouldn't he surely be punished by suffering deeply in losing Akashi? That was enough, right?

But when Akashi gave up, wouldn't he stop existing too? That might be less painful that what this could lead to otherwise.

He had in his head written numerous endings to this story. His story.

* * *

_"Tetsuya...Is that you?"_

_In front of Kuroko's eyes appeared an old man. He was nearly unrecognizable...But still, who else could it be but the same Akashi he loved. He just kept staring at the supposedly-Akashi. To him not a second had passed since Akashi had left him as a 20-something year old. To Akashi clearly a much longer time had went by. That was what it meant to be dead. It was as if being a ghost, except he had not been observing Akashi these years. He had not **been.** _

_"Yes...It's me...may I inquire...If you could possible be...?" He lowered his gaze shamefully, having been so disrespectful. His voice was trembling.  
_

_"Yes. I am who you are thinking of." _

_Akashi's tone was too familiar...to cold...it awoke too much of his feelings. The awkward silence that followed, made it possible to hear Kuroko's quiet sobbing. His tears were flowing and he could not stop it. And Akashi wouldn't comfort him anymore._

* * *

_Kuroko could finally feel every lat bit of anything disappearing. He hadn't known he had anything left. But now he could still feel it going away. He finally felt peace. Was this what death was? He couldn't feel anything anymore. He wasn't anymore.  
_

_So now Akashi was dead too. _

* * *

_"Sei-kun...Seijuro- No, Akashi-kun...Wait-"  
_

_"No. I wont wait. I just came to confront you, before saying farewell."_

_"Akashi-kun..."_

_"How could you? How dare you? Why would you do this? Make me- ME- fall in love and then just tell me it was all nothing but an illusion!? I will never forgive you. I couldn't if I wanted to. So now, goodbye. We'll never see each other again."_

_Kuroko hadn't the time to say a word before they were both gone._

* * *

None of the endings was ever happy. He didn't deserve a happy end, nor would he ever get one. The closest to a peaceful one was the one where Akashi simply passed away and he got to dissipate in to nothingness without pain. Not without regret. But at least there was no pain.

* * *

Now outside Kuroko's world, that was limited to only knowing himself, and nothing of what Akashi would actually do, or what was happening in reality, the fact remained that Akashi Seijuro - heir to the huge Akashi complex, slightly maniacal and previously suffering of an unfortunately undiagnosed multiple personality disorder - was dead. Inevitably and undoably so.

And for what reason? _Love?_ Yes, the emotion he had denied and despised for so long. Something most normal (-if a term like that is to be used-) and sane human beings outside of stories would not got to such lengths for. Akashi was neither really so was it that unbelievable? Yes. Why? Because Akashi was not stupid. But...

_Tetsuya...If I do this, will I be able to see you again?_

He had jumped into the unknown, knowing he might not reach his goal, knowing he might've thrown everything away for nothing. Had he?

_If there's even a little chance...I'll meet you again..._

Then he would take any risk. What had he even become? To be like this...? His self from only 5 years ago would've cringed away at this unrecognizable person, and scorned him for the choices he would make in the future. He wouldn't accept it. Still, Akashi had changed in the previous 5 years, and they were undeniably the same person. All this change was mostly due to a certain boy with a blunt attitude and a hair color as unnatural as Akashi's own.

**_Ah, would they be able to meet again? Or would it end with both dying, because of their wish to be able to touch?  
_**

* * *

_Okay please don't hurt me I know it's been a long time...I've been maybe kinda busy, school's started properly, and on the other hand I had a small writers block and I'm bad with those, due to lack of experience...I swear though I'll try to have the next and probably last chapter up as soon as possible! Oh and no I don't have any idea what I'm trying to do with this chapter either, nope. Their past? A whim that just might've ruined the whole thing...I have no idea what Akashi did, something horrible anyway, and ik this is too late to bring anything new to this but weeaaallll... Thank you for all the support until now, and I selfishly hope that you'd keep giving it into the end..._

_...Sooo, reviews to this meaningless chapter? Anyone? I understand I'm too greedy...  
_


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